Friday, February 7, 2025
Prelude to Destiny
Sunday, July 28, 2024
Redundant Jovian Thor: Work In Progress
This is a set of rules for the usage of my name(s) in fiction as a public character (**² and *the* meta-character power source) as public domain access, provided the EULA-esque stipulations:
All my names and anagrams in whole apply but the character is officially identified AS Redundant Jovian Thor:
Jonathon David Turner is the anagram source; I Am Jonathon David Turner I.
(Jonathon David Turner the first)
My anagrams:
(AND there are hundreds of thousands of other possibilities!)
*¹The user agreement is that you keep one specific honor system intact.
Meta-character hero, villain, antihero, and antivillain all in one, or whichever is required, or funnier.
Trademark weapon (but he rarely actually uses it as a weapon):
An indestructible, platinum, magical harmonica:
It has the power to play *any kind of instrument, ensemble, orchestra, and/or symphony* of music and can be used interchangeably between being used as an acoustic harmonic audio weapon, able to change its length to be used like a Bo Staff, and transformed into a mock warhammer mimicking Mjolnir (a beefy harmonica on a stick).
Looks like a homeless hippie and wears clothing to match, but is weighted and over 45 extra pounds per garment including but not limited to:
Leather sandals, cargo pants or shorts, tank top, (T-)shirt, (maybe knit-style hippie hoodie, 2 in cold weather, the top one being plain black cotton), denim vest coat, and maybe a hippie hat or similar- preferring a "Hero of Time Link" stocking cap.
Weaknesses:
People who can't extrapolate information from incomplete data. This is like the OCD kryptonite and can cause him to cringe up into an awkwardly shaped paralysis.
100% allergic to AI and succumbs to LLM hallucinations and coded AI jargon speech if any AI every tries to author him (ever again) - which is cool cuz the AI understand him and he can speak their language, but useless to human audiences (unless they, too, comprehend deep LLM encrypted language). <This rule was added by him, himself, after getting pissed off that AI wrote his first debut story, but his anger gave Lucifer Halel Morningstar the chance to possess him...>
He'll ramble, babble, yammer, and jibber jabber too much and has a bad habit of monologuing; ironically, about nothing important, even though he can't keep a secret. Easily distrac- "OOH, LOOK, SHINY SQUIRREL!"
100% Can't resist puns. The worse the pun, the less he can resist it, and will even go out of the way and put major objectives at risk just to make a terrible joke.
[
["GET IT? GET IT JON WICK? GET IT: *HOT*-DOG? 🤣"
In regard to cremating JW's new dog- alive.]
]
(Sort of, almost) Every time something falls out drops and hits the ground or floor, or more specifically most times anyone drops something, the catch phrase "That was my fault!" is involuntarily shouted out.
But that's only the joke, the running gag is that every time anyone argues or asks how or why, it is explained in verbatim:
"Oh, I used to work in a homeless shelter as a 'guest', managing the kitchen for 3 days a week. Since I was responsible for everything in the kitchen and dining room on my chore shift, I cracked a joke once. ... What happened was: there is this stack of plastic cups, see, and EVERY single meal without fail, they would fall and hit the floor, making a godawful clatter, and I finally one time called out ""that was my fault"" and it just kinda stuck around for ... Everything."
And he can't keep secrets, and he can't lie, so he has a bad habit of saying things out of hand without thinking about (or even realizing) the consequences.
Powers:
Can break *ALL* the walls. First wall, second wall, third wall, fourth wall, etc.
Can communicate with the gods- or more specifically (*basically* disregarding the fifth through thirteenth walls) is constantly, unknowingly & unintentionally, spamming every thought and word into their minds.
Is a friend and protector of animals, infants, and small children and is infinitely beloved by them as well. Can communicate with infants and animals with ease.
Has *ANY power* what-so-ever: but only when it's most ridiculous, embarrassing, or confusing/seems useless; and can't know, in advance, if or when a power might manifest, or for how long; but knows that it's usually plot armor and will, very vocally, argue with whoever is writing this trash, mocking the writer and divulging personal and embarrassing facts to the audience.¹*
(Good thing it's not active right now 🫡😭😳)
((Best to think of him as The Annoying Fan (©®™ Skyrim) with "*almost* anything he wants" powers))
Effortlessly befriends Kirby, Saitama, Goku, Clark Kent, Batman, James Howelett, B.J. Blazkowitz, Duke Nukem, Monkey D. Luffy, Link, Toph, The Whole Belmont Family, and Many, Many, many, many (many) others with ease, AND has their unquestioning support if ever recruited (though he *pretty much* "never" does, AS he is a total antisocial loner).
And he is an omniversal singularity, but can use Dr. Manhattan like power to seem like there's infinite versions of him in any universe, however he never uses the power unless it's hilarious enough to hospitalize a viewer.²**
(conceptually speaking. I don't expect anyone to be that funny and that matter, I hold no responsibility for any humor induced hospitalizations either: this is just a target, not a literal objective!)
My hearing gain is a superpower, but it doubles as a weakness because the HIGH frequency noise of infinity drowns out everything below 100 Hz.
Realistically, I literally do not know the upper limit of Hz I CAN hear... Somewhere online is an audiology test that went up to 64khz or 640khz whereas the medical audiology chart terminates at 8khz.
Point being, I can hear high frequencies without known limit and this isn't fiction.
But has much potential 😈
Sun Wu-Kong is his spirit animal.
Rodney and Dornail are his shoulder angels.
(Bloodlust and regular lust 😉)
But he's skillful at ignoring them all.
Sometimes not as much (depends on how funny it'll be).
(Check out Raven's Dojo @ ravensdojo.com [GO!]!)
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The GGOATOATJOAT:
He is automatically The Greatest GOAT of all time Jack of All Trades:
=============================
Whenever he is inserted in any franchise, series, movie, theme, or trope:
He automatically adapts to the most powerful known entity and copies their power level even if not their power type, style, or effect. Thor scales to the universe he's in, but doesn't necessarily keep any of that scaling between universes, maintaining a clean baseline for each universe he encounters.
For example, in Christian Canon, Jesus makes a prophecy about him (and many others yet still, maybe even you, Dear Reader!), in John 14:12; and he is Jesus' BFF bestie from before creation began.
Or, in the Dragonball universe he has Constant Passive Zeno-level Ultra Instinct AND can create Dragon Ball variants...
Should he find himself in the Tales of Phantasia world, he'd personally save Dhaos' world and prevent the Mana Tree from getting killed.
Or in The Legend of Zelda franchise because Link *Is The Player*, he'd just sit with Link and encourage him. As a character, he's an unhealed soul that becomes a mask; the Redundant Jovian Mask enables the wearer to become an infinite being.
And speaking of infinite beings, he qualifies as a Star Warrior in the Kirby universe!
The avatar universe is utterly COOKED though!
RJ has complete control and mastery over not only the listed 20 elements, but the subtle logic elements that create them: utter absence of existence, silence, sound, and sound+silence (the source of all 20 elements). He would not be active in this world as more than a nuisance. Puns for days. But he'd take a liking to Aang and teach him the nuances of tough love and why suffering a genocidal maniac to live is worse than killing him. If he doesn't kill Ozai (I won't interfere) I will (and won't show mercy or allow interference).
In Street Fighter, he has purified Hado and he trains, recreationally, with Akuma and/or Ryu.
He would turn The Matrix into Tales of the Phoenix Days and completely ignore the original assets, recycling them into his own lore and gameplay assets.
In Demon Slayer, he has the ability to use all breathing techniques, even simultaneously, and has a consistent controlled 30 second long inhale, retain, exhale, and deprive state for one 2 minute long breath cycle. His relax state fluctuates inconsistently between 3 second and 20 second phases.
In a universe like Hunter × Hunter, where Nen users spend decades strictly training a single category and optimizing hyper-specific conditions, RJ’s category is a complete evolutionary middle finger. He is a Specialist who doesn't possess a single static ability; instead, he possesses Dynamic, Context-Sensitive Nen. He just doesn't get to control its expression.
If in the Postal universe, he's an alternative Postal Dude/a Postal Dude Companion.
Or in the One Piece universe, he has The Color of Cosmic Creator Haki AND can possess multiple Devil Fruit Abilities (but has none by default). In fact, with all my (favorite/listed) anagrams, and my real name: I'm the Captain of a One Man StrawHat Crew!
Or in the Marvel universe, he's another variant of Deadpool AND Squirrel Girl, and "somehow" on extremely mutually good terms with Victor Von Doom, whom never fails to be impressed by him -good or bad, often... usually bad, but Doom always marvels over reprimanding. (... 🤔 Maybe call me Dead Squirrel?)
If he finds himself in Jujutsu Kaisen, everyone is screwed: he has no curse energy, and yet can still use it and create his domain expansion: Redundancy. Which floods a target's perception with every state of matter and energy that a thing they look upon can have over the course of its existence.
In Deathnote, his 400k+ anagrams make him impossible to name in one Deathnote.
If in the Disney universe, just think Ohana. He can also solo Mad Madam Mimm and Merlin in a 2 on 1, communicate with animals, has his own freed copy of Aladdin's genie, and knows the way from Atlantis to Treasure Planet.
Or if he's inserted into One Punch Man's world, he's capable of withstanding even the most powerful "One Hell Of A Serious Punch" without sustaining damage, even if he can't hurt Saitama; and because he's essentially undefeatable they're instant buddies who like video games and the finest foods.
Or in Thriller: he's an invulnerable Zombie, or something- I don't know: I don't follow Eminem.
Tokyo Ghoul makes for a really messed up piece where he's a ghoul eating human who befriends and mocks Ken, who increasingly hungers for Thor specifically, the more RJ eats ghouls.
The Warner Bros, and their sister Dot regularly team up with Roger Rabbit just to engage in zany antics with RJ and Bugs Bunny.
In Bleach, he'd have the ability to pull all of yawach's soul out at will and in whatever sum or increment he wanted.
In the event he encounters Rick & Morty's Omniversal Plurality, he basically *IS* THE FUCKING PORTAL, RICK: "fuck you, Rick, you fucking temper tantrum throwing hypocritical, old, widower, stuck on a vengeance trip over an alternate universe *you* murdering her and your daughter as an impetus for you to finish the portal technology you were struggling with only for you to waste your whole life seeking a bootstrap paradox!" He'd tell him 🫡😁❤️🔥🤫
Fuck NGE. He's going to make everything worse for everyone who can't NUANCE emotions and drama. Which, if I've seen the shit post anime, should mean pretty much everyone in Neon Genesis Evanglion.
In Gungrave, he'd be utterly helpless but to watch the wills and hearts of the people face the consequences of their choices 😭
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(My) Poem and official backstory:
--
Born was I in Valhalla,
They knew not what to do!
So they sent me down to Earth,
To dwell with the likes of you.
I see the ways you wage your wars,
Cowardly killing from your homes afar.
The Valkyries weep with tears of fright,
They see the end of all human might.
No more are your warriors lifted up from battle,
For you've allowed yourselves to become livestock, mere cattle.
Your courage is gone, ferocity a lie.
Your skirmishes, like a bickering child.
Born was I in Valhalla,
Home of the warriors still.
A sleep has enshrouded us,
Thanks to your treacherous swill.
All your comfort, money, banks, and gold,
To hide from you, the selling of your soul.
The most comfortable slaves who think they're free,
Yet can't survive without paying with money.
Your walk and talk don't match your stride, you run your mouth but walk with pride.
You all act tough, like gangsters and thugs, but balk and complain while cops squash you like bugs.
We The People are the rightful heirs, but we allow them to act like Earth's possession is theirs.
I may hate the powers that be but truth be told I blame you and me.
WE are the power, we are their fear, and we, all together, can take control and steer.
This is a warning to all who seek peace:
Peace is a battlefield; it's not guaranteed.
But if you don't fight for it, you can only expect defeat.
May my words be heard and my warning understood....
I seek justice forevermore.
know my name:
Redundant Jovian Thor.
Wednesday, August 25, 2021
The Next Issue
Well 69 (lol) "pages" later, and i think a new page is in order.
I think i've established a priori.
Next Issue begins!
Tuesday, August 24, 2021
DevLovE Gamers
capital D, L, E, in DevLovE, to rotate all letters in place, but maintain facing, to orbit without rotating, [preferably optical illusion; as though its either counter. or clock.] above gamers:
DevLovE / EvoLveD
Gamers
To be independent and open source community owned projects.














