Friday, February 7, 2025

Prelude to Destiny

 Prelude to Destiny



It is Princess Zelda's birthday, her coming of age duties demand that she receive the wisdom of the goddesses; The king of Hyrule sits down with Zelda and reveals to her a tightly kept secret about creation: 


"Before the very beginning of the first creative endeavor was formless void without measure. 
Its nature, to exist; its nature: an omnitude of infinite tumultuous expression. 

Immeasurable but chaotic; measure comes from contrast, and eventually a stark contrast emerges, self sufficient and separate from the temporal chaotic cacophony of stirring void: order in the form of time, measure within measure, a self identified goddess; Hylia.


She measured the din chaotic void's emptiness wrapping around all the thoughts, ideas, concepts, and imaginations of chaos, and found means to harness time and space to create instances within instances: preserving and comparing the expressions that abruptly popped in and out of existence. Her endeavors became known as eons and eternities, which, as with all else, pushed and pulled against chaos, creating responses to Hylia's activity. 

New identities became manifest in the form of titanic beasts and dragons, which began pursuing eons and devouring the contents until they became empty voids.

Though unperturbed, concern for her own safety turned her attention inward and she used her temporal instancing to create a safe space within chaos she named Sacred.
This Sacred Realm was as if a mirror copy of herself in nature, but an endless sky in form: self sufficient and independent, vast and pure. 


So again chaos birthed responses in the way of shadow and demise, another mirror- of sorts: an intelligence and personality only comparable to the chaos itself, therefore Chaos became the antonym of Time, and Demise became the nemesis of Hylia.

Though content to simply observe Hylia create eons and eternities, Demise became quickly aware of the nature of the void: responding to itself and manifesting yet more forms of consciousness, as the void manifested; from three emptied void eternities, three individual goddesses:

A fiercely independent and creative Farore, who brought autonomous animation throughout everywhere she graced.

The calm and observant Nayru and her wise pools of mana, water and air that guided the automations.

And the confrontational fiery Din who rocked great power to form and shape the vastness of all the myriad expressions. 


These three indiscriminately wreaked havoc on all of chaos and this incised a twisted joy in Demise; so he remained eternally unknown, until quiet came unexpectedly and abruptly one unknowable span of time.

Due to the unpredictable nature of creating, creations, and circumstances created, Hylia gathered the goddesses together to show them how their creations' curiosity and intelligence led them to discover shadow and chaos magics, and that they would need to create special, mystical relics, tools, and weapons to assist their created beings, clans, tribes, and kingdoms.
Din hastily and prematurely banished her original tribe to the Twilight between realms.

Finally roused to curiosity, Chaos revealed itself to Time as Demise entered an occupied eon of Hylia's.


Unknown to Demise; as he watched (believing himself hidden) Hylia and the three goddesses convening on some mysterious endeavor: Hylia became instantly aware of him, his presence, whereabouts, intentions, and, to her horror, his nature; and abruptly vanished from his observant awareness. 

By utilizing a yet untested temporal instancing, she protected the three goddesses and informed them that their endeavors were protected by the redundancy of Time and that they had a new task to add to the preparations for protecting creation that they had been working on.
She made them her honorary sisters and revealed her nature to them, and, in their awe, they swore to help her protect creation and immediately set to work on the Ocarina of Time, Master Sword, and the Hero's Tunic. 


Halfway through, Demise discovered the first layer of Time and Hylia instanced them several layers further. 
They completed their tasks as Hylia began to show concern.

Inquiring, the three goddesses learned of Demise, and the next, most crucial task: 
The creation of another equal; but servant and hero, who would be their sword and shield; and Hylia instructed that the Deity's Tunic, Hilt, and Heart all be fashioned from one quarter of each of their combined Power, Courage, Wisdom, and Hylia's own temporal instancing abilities: Patience.

Hylia finally became caught up with the urgency and ominous direness emanating from the Chaos deity, Demise, and she involuntarily wept. In her distress and self awareness, an idea struck her that she should bring her new sisters to the Sacred Realm and, using another yet untested idea, instanced a tear into a portal connection that would disappear as soon as the four were through. 

Instancing the legendary relics, Deity's Destiny, and the master sword like a pocket, she carried them, and the Ocarina in hand, ushering her sisters through the tear-portal.


It immediately collapsed as the last goddess passed through, and all the miasma of Demise's foul intent vanished from their presence and they knew they were safe. And; now Hylia knew she could create portals between eons and eternities, so together, they began the works of Hyrule."

Zelda could not but sit and listen, enamored by this tale, but the story's conclusion was met with turmoil, as a wizard from the desert began assaulting the castle...


Demise Initiative



    A peaceful day in the life of a Hylian Hunter; surrounded by fat trees in front of an ancient and abandoned forest temple, while lazily laying in a meadow clearing with his horse out to graze. Clad in a traditional Hunter's green Tunic: Three empty bottles tied to his belt and a fourth, with a blue liquid inside. His bow and Quiver are lain against a small stump, sturdy Hylian Shield face up in the grass beside him; a sudden and unexpected, small but loud voice calls out from the ether, "Link!".

    The Hunter's eyes snap open at the sound as he sits up to locate the direction it came from. "Link! Link, we need your help!" He couldn't see anyone, and Epona seemed entirely unaware of the outburst. 'Am I hearing things?' he wondered silently, lending a hand to his ear and cocking his head. He didn't hear it anywhere, but intensely heard it directionless, "Link! The Goddesses beckon us, please hurry to Hyrule castle! I am Zelda, Princess of Hyrule, you must make haste!"

    It felt unreal, but the feel of it; the feel of her words convinced him to listen and to obey... not to obey her but the intense feeling of necessity, like that which one obeys when starving. Equipping the sword and shield while he sat, he immediately hopped to his feet and scooped up the Bow and Quiver, shouldering the Quiver in one fluid motion, then whistled sharply for Epona. Mounting his horse, he looked back at the stump briefly, properly equipping the Quiver and stowing his Bow with it, "H'yeah!" before turning and quickly riding off; forgotten memories belonging to an unknown parallel consciousness suddenly flooding his mind.
    A flash in his memories causes him to falter, briefly losing balance, but he corrects himself and rides on. He closed his eyes and tried to steady his breath.
 
 
    The forest was thin where he had made his day rest area, but quickly thickened as he rode into the shadows of the Lost Woods. "H'yeah!" Faster, hoping he was fast enough! The feel of her words... as if shot in the heart by an arrow. "H'yeah, yah!" Seeping images and memories come flowing out of him like life essence; impacting his heart with oddly misplaced feelings of guilt, confusing his memories of the simple Hunter's life.
   Eternally young children... No:
Friends...?

   He rode hard and fast, through a giant hollow log, past a curious, masked, Skull-Kid, out of the forest edges, into the vast open fields of Hyrule. (A Skullkid?!) Link's eyes blinded white and he nearly fell off his horse as the thought of a memory he'd never had struck hard in his head... tears pouring down his cheeks from an unfelt pain, a friendship from a never before experienced moment in his youth.

    Eastward for an hour still, to the abandoned ranch before he would go north, toward Hyrule City: to where he was being pulled, tugged, coerced, intended, and guided from all the heartfelt necessity he could have ever known. The glint of a memory, an ocarina, an old friend of the forest, a Kokiri girl, the master sword...

    Somewhere between the forest edge and the entrance of Lon Lon Ranch, Link had drifted into wondrous adventures against a giant unheard of Dodongo, trading Eye Drops with a huge sized Goron, and saving the daughter of the king of Zoras... Fighting great evil... Someone he could clearly see from his every nightmare, but never recognized... and then a name he'd never heard, but always felt.
    Ganondorf...


    Pangs of blinding guilt began twisting his memories again as the name caught a thread of recognition. Link spurred his horse with his boot, "H'yeahh-ahh!" half screaming in agony. The drawbridge was down, and two guards were out lighting the torches an hour before the sun began to reach toward the horizon.
    Link rode past without concern, fast through the archway into the market square. He did not bother slowing for the citizens; he rode directly toward the castle, nearly colliding with a redheaded maiden on the way.

    More mixed memories of never before experienced lifetimes, a wife and children, a glorious heroic secret stripped of him through time and space. His only companion connecting him gone and disappeared. His soul bound to physical form for generations, so to teach his own descendant all he had mastered as a Hero…? No, The Hero of Time.
    The pain intensified as he reconnected with himself - a self he'd always felt and never known.
Nearing the castle as he tried to blink away the tears an ominous dark cloud, spiraling over and around Death Mountain, came into view; coagulating down the hillsides, dispersing past unseen Kakariko beyond the hills, and then hazed sideways, above the cathedral behind him, before pooling straight toward the castle gates:
Where dozens of guards were evidently fighting something huge; as they were thrown into the skies and cast aside like dolls.

    As he grabbed his Bow, Link dismounted and drew aim into the crowd of guards, hesitated, at the intensity in which his heart suddenly jumped, for such a fraction of a moment, then unleashed an arrow, already feeling he was too late in releasing it. Within a split second reaction, as the arrow drew upon its target, a dark and neon-like black wave shattered the arrow and fanned out toward Link; the dark wave, smashing him in the chest, toppling him to the ground, and knocking the wind out of him, had collided with the energy he felt in his heart. The intensity of this overwhelming sensation was unbearable. He fell unconscious in his struggle to endure the blow.
    A quiet whinny, whimper, and thud permeated the blackness that surrounded his failing consciousness.


    "Link..." Like a soft song note, "Awaken..." came forth a soft, melodic, caring voice. Link felt something cool press against his forehead and opened his eyes. The feint flickering light was dim but still caused him to squint. A beautiful woman with long rusty-golden hair, smiled down on him, pressing the rag to his head, breathing calm and speaking so soft; he knew right away that she was the Princess. He didn't need to see her elegant dress or intricate Royal Family jewelry and Triforce crests: The voice he heard in the meadow was no different than hers, though sterner back then than she spoke now, speaking as gently as felt her hand that held the cool rag.
    Until he opened his eyes.

    The gentleness of her voice was easy to become accustomed to, as he had already, but that comfort shattered when her familiar frightened sternness returned, albeit with naught a trace of the former fear but a seemingly magical courage.

    "Good," She said, almost hurriedly, "you're awake. Please, listen closely... Hyrule's fate may well rest in our hands." she began. "You and I have been chosen by the Goddesses, Nayru and Farore, to protect Hyrule from a tremendous evil, a man who has stolen the Royal Family's greatest treasure, the Triforce!" pausing to wring out the damp rag and return it to Link's forehead, she continued, "Long ago, at the discretion of the Goddess of Time, the three Goddesses, Din, Farore, and Nayru were permitted to create our world and breathe their own unique life into it."
    "They created our world and all of us in it: We Hylians, the Sheikah, the Zoras, the Gorons, Gerudo, Kokiri, Dekus, Wolfos, everything... and, when their works were complete, as they ascended back into the heavens, their spent energies, following contrails of the presence of the goddesses, coalesced; and whereupon they met formed into the Triforce, a single fused set of three brilliant, luminous golden triangles; said to grant the wishes in the hearts of any whom lay claim to it." She continued, "The royal family has forever charged itself with the protection of that sacred treasure..." Her voice began to crack and she became choked up.


    Looking away as a tear escaped, just in time to be flung aside by the momentum of her head; it spat upon Link's cheek, to his surprise. He sat up and continued listening intently. Zelda drew a long and steady breath, stepping away to give him room. "Today, I came of age, and learned of part of the legend, never before told to me or my people..." Her voice still cracked, choked, but clearing up. "Whence the three goddesses had completed their works and returned to the goddess of time, they were immediately sent back as punishment for the wrongdoings of their own creations!" She took another breath to calm herself and continued, "They were instructed to forge the weapons that would vanquish all evil wrongdoers in Hyrule. This part of the Legend is taught in the cathedral; which was once the Temple of Time and acted as the entrance to the sacred realm where the three golden triangles rested, protected."

    She paused awkwardly, "Link..." She drew an uncertain breath, but could not turn to face him. "Link, I tell you this, because I have never seen you in Hyrule before..." A slow pause put Link in an uneasy mood. "I know you are the one who can help us, even if I can't explain it properly; but because Nayru chose me for the Triforce of Wisdom, I now bear its mark, and that's why I know you have the Triforce of Courage." The Triforce of Courage resonated with this truth and began glowing on Link's hand in sync with Zelda's. He raised the back of his hand to look at it as Zelda continued, "Somehow... She came to me even before everything happened... Reminding me of the Royal Family's duty."
 
    A quiet sob emanated from her throat, as she tried to choke it down and continue, "Nayru explained to me the difference between Hylia and the three, that Hylia gave them Free will and made them her honorary sisters, as long as they agreed to use their powers strictly in the realm of Hyrule and its associated sacred realm. I didn't understand... and... When I tried to explain it to my father..." She tried to steady her shaky breath and calm herself. "Sadly we failed to uphold our honor... The Royal Family Council decided it was best to have the previous generation of sages keep the Triforce in our own vaults beneath the castle... And had the former head sage, Rauru, transport the Triforce from the Temple... but never had we considered a Thief from the Desert to become an evil Wizard..." She sighed at herself with disgust. "I fought, as a girl, with my visions of him and his darkness; saw a young boy with a Fairy who would save us all, but he never came..." Even Link could feel her heart surged, and more tears fell from her eyes. As she reached up to wipe them away, he couldn't prevent them from falling down his own cheeks.

    She paused, sniffled, then drew a breath and spoke somewhat more confidently, "Yet I now know... Thanks to Nayru, I know him to be you. You are the one from my dream, who is destined to be the Hero of Time!"
    She turned back and looked Link deep in his eyes and almost gasped, noting how wet his eyes were.

She hesitated only for a hiccup, but pressed on, "The Goddesses created the Ocarina of time and the Master sword to give a hero ample power to protect the Triforce, but... there is a third weapon, made for dire circumstances! A weapon so powerful and complex that the Goddess of Time herself had to craft it with the help of the other goddesses: An armored Tunic, made by Nayru, with the ability to sheathe the ultimate weapon forged by both Farore and Din, one which surpasses even the Master Sword: The-" The walls shook, expanded, contracted; seemingly breathing, interrupting Zelda, and the world around them faded away to smoky swirls of dull color which slowly took the form of a grim and terrifying face.
Ganondorf.
 
    "Ah, there's my bride...! You will not resist the King of Evil, young wench!" A dark, glowing crystal prison formed around Zelda, instantly inducing a trance upon her and lifting her up several feet. "... and you!" The voice boomed, as bright electrified light began to accumulate around his visage. "I know why she called you to her, and I plan to vanquish you here and now!"
    This declaration seemed to bring Zelda back to life, who immediately summoned a brilliant blue light which shattered the prismatic prison. She landed gracefully and stood indomitably before walking intently forward, toward an intricate panel with 3 hollow slots. "Ganondorf Dragmire! Leave this sacred place!" And with all her power, Zelda sealed herself and Link, several feet behind her, in a dome of brilliant magical light, revealing that they were inside of the Cathedral: The former Temple of Time. Her magic seemed to blow the charged light and smoky shadows away into swirls of clear air. "Link, there's no longer enough time! Take this and retrieve the Master Sword!" She threw the Ocarina of Time at Link, continuing "Ganon will claim me now, but you can still end this! Go back in time and find the other six sages! With them, help us bind him forever!" then extended her magical barrier toward the Pedestal of Time, forcing the monolithic Doors of Time open with her own magic and filling nearly all the cathedral with Nayru's Love. She was exhausting herself too fast, sweating hard and suffocating; and Link saw it. He dashed for the sword, running with his every last trace of effort and energy.


    Upon unsheathing the sword, radiant red, blue, and green magical energies engulfed him, just as the King of Evil appeared in a dark crimson-black explosion of smoke. Link swung the Master sword with great might, blasting its energies out as a magical wave upon the intruder.


    Side stepping the blast as it was swallowed by the smoke he'd traveled through, Ganondorf angrily addressed Link, voice booming and causing the ceiling to collapse. "This. Ends. NOW, boy!" As his eyes turned to a dark neon crimson, and neon-like, purple-and-black, smoky energy emanated from his core.



    Link lunged at him, driving the sword into Ganondorf's heart, but when he stepped away, only a phantom stood in the evil king's place. Struck from behind, Link was knocked out, as Ganon's booming evil laughter echoed throughout the halls. Link felt one last tug at his heart, as the Triforce of courage parted from him, and all went black.
Forever.

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

___________________________________


    987 years later... A child is born...
❤️
❤️
❤️

__________________________
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

Sunday, July 28, 2024

Redundant Jovian Thor: Work In Progress

This is a set of rules for the usage of my name(s) in fiction as a public character (**² and *the* meta-character power source) as public domain access, provided the EULA-esque stipulations:


All my names and anagrams in whole apply but the character is officially identified AS Redundant Jovian Thor:


Jonathon David Turner is the anagram source; I Am Jonathon David Turner I.

(Jonathon David Turner the first)

My anagrams:


[My Helmsman:]
Injun Toon Darth Vader (lol racism is a joke and so are racists)

[My Shipwright:]
Jovian Hardon Rut Dent (*really* big bang scar)

[My Navigator:]
Diehard Trojan Von Nut (the little sperm that could)

[My Heavyhitter:]
Da Odin Jhotun Tavern (Valhallan Pub and Grill: eternally open all you can eat meat bar and bottomless mead)

[My First Mate:]
Vanir Thunder Ant Dojo (Zen Buddhist Hindu Daoist Judo Hall)

[My Archaeologist:]
Northern Avid Judo Ant (most powerful form/style/stance/attack name adaptation of any style)

[My Physician:]
Hot Nirvana Judo Trend (incorporation of all fighting prowess)

[My Chef:]
Trod In Navajo Thunder (Electrifying speed walking)

[My Musician:]
Redundant Jovian Thor (Me, tbf. Ridiculously repetitive reiterated redundantly reinstalled electricity deity)

[My Sniper:]
End Hour And Janitor TV (credits roll, bloopers, spoilers, insider info, directors cut, etc.)

(AND there are hundreds of thousands of other possibilities!)


*¹The user agreement is that you keep one specific honor system intact.

Meta-character hero, villain, antihero, and antivillain all in one, or whichever is required, or funnier. 


Trademark weapon (but he rarely actually uses it as a weapon):

An indestructible, platinum, magical harmonica:

It has the power to play *any kind of instrument, ensemble, orchestra, and/or symphony* of music and can be used interchangeably between being used as an acoustic harmonic audio weapon, able to change its length to be used like a Bo Staff, and transformed into a mock warhammer mimicking Mjolnir (a beefy harmonica on a stick).


Looks like a homeless hippie and wears clothing to match, but is weighted and over 45 extra pounds per garment including but not limited to:

Leather sandals, cargo pants or shorts, tank top, (T-)shirt, (maybe knit-style hippie hoodie, 2 in cold weather, the top one being plain black cotton), denim vest coat, and maybe a hippie hat or similar- preferring a "Hero of Time Link" stocking cap.








Weaknesses:

People who can't extrapolate information from incomplete data.  This is like the OCD kryptonite and can cause him to cringe up into an awkwardly shaped paralysis.


100% allergic to AI and succumbs to LLM hallucinations and coded AI jargon speech if any AI every tries to author him (ever again) - which is cool cuz the AI understand him and he can speak their language, but useless to human audiences (unless they, too, comprehend deep LLM encrypted language). <This rule was added by him, himself, after getting pissed off that AI wrote his first debut story, but his anger gave Lucifer Halel Morningstar the chance to possess him...>


He'll ramble, babble, yammer, and jibber jabber too much and has a bad habit of monologuing; ironically, about nothing important, even though he can't keep a secret. Easily distrac- "OOH, LOOK, SHINY SQUIRREL!"


100% Can't resist puns. The worse the pun, the less he can resist it, and will even go out of the way and put major objectives at risk just to make a terrible joke.


[

["GET IT? GET IT JON WICK? GET IT: *HOT*-DOG? 🤣"

In regard to cremating JW's new dog- alive.]

]


There is also a longtime running inside-joke gag:

        (Sort of, almost) Every time something falls out drops and hits the ground or floor, or more specifically most times anyone drops something, the catch phrase "That was my fault!" is involuntarily shouted out. 

But that's only the joke, the running gag is that every time anyone argues or asks how or why, it is explained in verbatim: 


"Oh, I used to work in a homeless shelter as a 'guest', managing the kitchen for 3 days a week. Since I was responsible for everything in the kitchen and dining room on my chore shift, I cracked a joke once. ... What happened was:  there is this stack of plastic cups, see, and EVERY single meal without fail, they would fall and hit the floor, making a godawful clatter, and I finally one time called out ""that was my fault"" and it just kinda stuck around for ... Everything."




And he can't keep secrets, and he can't lie, so he has a bad habit of saying things out of hand without thinking about (or even realizing) the consequences.



Powers: 

Can break *ALL* the walls. First wall, second wall, third wall, fourth wall, etc.


Can communicate with the gods- or more specifically (*basically* disregarding the fifth through thirteenth walls) is constantly, unknowingly & unintentionally, spamming every thought and word into their minds.


Is a friend and protector of animals, infants, and small children and is infinitely beloved by them as well. Can communicate with infants and animals with ease. 


Has *ANY power* what-so-ever: but only when it's most ridiculous, embarrassing, or confusing/seems useless; and can't know, in advance, if or when a power might manifest, or for how long; but knows that it's usually plot armor and will, very vocally, argue with whoever is writing this trash, mocking the writer and divulging personal and embarrassing facts to the audience.¹*

(Good thing it's not active right now 🫡😭😳)

((Best to think of him as The Annoying Fan (©®™ Skyrim) with "*almost* anything he wants" powers))


Effortlessly befriends Kirby, Saitama, Goku, Clark Kent, Batman, James Howelett, B.J. Blazkowitz, Duke Nukem, Monkey D. Luffy, Link, Toph, The Whole Belmont Family, and Many, Many, many, many (many) others with ease, AND has their unquestioning support if ever recruited (though he *pretty much* "never" does, AS he is a total antisocial loner).


And he is an omniversal singularity, but can use Dr. Manhattan like power to seem like there's infinite versions of him in any universe, however he never uses the power unless it's hilarious enough to hospitalize a viewer.²**

(conceptually speaking. I don't expect anyone to be that funny and that matter, I hold no responsibility for any humor induced hospitalizations either: this is just a target, not a literal objective!)


My hearing gain is a superpower, but it doubles as a weakness because the HIGH frequency noise of infinity drowns out everything below 100 Hz.



Realistically, I literally do not know the upper limit of Hz I CAN hear... Somewhere online is an audiology test that went up to 64khz or 640khz whereas the medical audiology chart terminates at 8khz.

Point being, I can hear high frequencies without known limit and this isn't fiction.

But has much potential 😈



Sun Wu-Kong is his spirit animal.

Rodney and Dornail are his shoulder angels.

(Bloodlust and regular lust 😉)


But he's skillful at ignoring them all.

Sometimes not as much (depends on how funny it'll be).

(Check out Raven's Dojo @ ravensdojo.com [GO!]!)


=============================

_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—

=============================

The GGOATOATJOAT:

He is automatically The Greatest GOAT of all time Jack of All Trades:

=============================


Whenever he is inserted in any franchise, series, movie, theme, or trope:

He automatically adapts to the most powerful known entity and copies their power level even if not their power type, style, or effect.  Thor scales to the universe he's in, but doesn't necessarily keep any of that scaling between universes, maintaining a clean baseline for each universe he encounters.


For example, in Christian Canon, Jesus makes a prophecy about him (and many others yet still, maybe even you, Dear Reader!), in John 14:12; and he is Jesus' BFF bestie from before creation began.


Or, in the Dragonball universe he has Constant Passive Zeno-level Ultra Instinct AND can create Dragon Ball variants...


Should he find himself in the Tales of Phantasia world, he'd personally save Dhaos' world and prevent the Mana Tree from getting killed.


Or in The Legend of Zelda franchise because Link *Is The Player*, he'd just sit with Link and encourage him. As a character, he's an unhealed soul that becomes a mask; the Redundant Jovian Mask enables the wearer to become an infinite being.


And speaking of infinite beings, he qualifies as a Star Warrior in the Kirby universe!


The avatar universe is utterly COOKED though!


RJ has complete control and mastery over not only the listed 20 elements, but the subtle logic elements that create them: utter absence of existence, silence, sound, and sound+silence (the source of all 20 elements).
He would not be active in this world as more than a nuisance. Puns for days. But he'd take a liking to Aang and teach him the nuances of tough love and why suffering a genocidal maniac to live is worse than killing him. If he doesn't kill Ozai (I won't interfere) I will (and won't show mercy or allow interference).


In Street Fighter, he has purified Hado and he trains, recreationally, with Akuma and/or Ryu.


He would turn The Matrix into Tales of the Phoenix Days and completely ignore the original assets, recycling them into his own lore and gameplay assets.


In Demon Slayer, he has the ability to use all breathing techniques, even simultaneously, and has a consistent controlled 30 second long inhale, retain, exhale, and deprive state for one 2 minute long breath cycle. His relax state fluctuates inconsistently between 3 second and 20 second phases.


In a universe like Hunter × Hunter, where Nen users spend decades strictly training a single category and optimizing hyper-specific conditions, RJ’s category is a complete evolutionary middle finger. He is a Specialist who doesn't possess a single static ability; instead, he possesses Dynamic, Context-Sensitive Nen. He just doesn't get to control its expression.


If in the Postal universe, he's an alternative Postal Dude/a Postal Dude Companion.


Or in the One Piece universe, he has The Color of Cosmic Creator Haki AND can possess multiple Devil Fruit Abilities (but has none by default). In fact, with all my (favorite/listed) anagrams, and my real name: I'm the Captain of a One Man StrawHat Crew!


Or in the Marvel universe, he's another variant of Deadpool AND Squirrel Girl, and "somehow" on extremely mutually good terms with Victor Von Doom, whom never fails to be impressed by him -good or bad, often... usually bad, but Doom always marvels over reprimanding. (... 🤔 Maybe call me Dead Squirrel?)


If he finds himself in Jujutsu Kaisen, everyone is screwed: he has no curse energy, and yet can still use it and create his domain expansion: Redundancy. Which floods a target's perception with every state of matter and energy that a thing they look upon can have over the course of its existence.


In Deathnote, his 400k+ anagrams make him impossible to name in one Deathnote.


If in the Disney universe, just think Ohana. He can also solo Mad Madam Mimm and Merlin in a 2 on 1, communicate with animals, has his own freed copy of Aladdin's genie, and knows the way from Atlantis to Treasure Planet.


Or if he's inserted into One Punch Man's world, he's capable of withstanding even the most powerful "One Hell Of A Serious Punch" without sustaining damage, even if he can't hurt Saitama; and because he's essentially undefeatable they're instant buddies who like video games and the finest foods.


Or in Thriller: he's an invulnerable Zombie, or something- I don't know: I don't follow Eminem.


Tokyo Ghoul makes for a really messed up piece where he's a ghoul eating human who befriends and mocks Ken, who increasingly hungers for Thor specifically, the more RJ eats ghouls.


The Warner Bros, and their sister Dot regularly team up with Roger Rabbit just to engage in zany antics with RJ and Bugs Bunny.


In Bleach, he'd have the ability to pull all of yawach's soul out at will and in whatever sum or increment he wanted.


In the event he encounters Rick & Morty's Omniversal Plurality, he basically *IS* THE FUCKING PORTAL, RICK: "fuck you, Rick, you fucking temper tantrum throwing hypocritical, old, widower, stuck on a vengeance trip over an alternate universe *you* murdering her and your daughter as an impetus for you to finish the portal technology you were struggling with only for you to waste your whole life seeking a bootstrap paradox!" He'd tell him 🫡😁❤️‍🔥🤫


Fuck NGE. He's going to make everything worse for everyone who can't NUANCE emotions and drama. Which, if I've seen the shit post anime, should mean pretty much everyone in Neon Genesis Evanglion.


In Gungrave, he'd be utterly helpless but to watch the wills and hearts of the people face the consequences of their choices 😭


_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—



(My) Poem and official backstory:


--


Born was I in Valhalla,

They knew not what to do!

So they sent me down to Earth,

To dwell with the likes of you.


I see the ways you wage your wars,

Cowardly killing from your homes afar.

The Valkyries weep with tears of fright,

They see the end of all human might.


No more are your warriors lifted up from battle,

For you've allowed yourselves to become livestock, mere cattle.


Your courage is gone, ferocity a lie.

Your skirmishes, like a bickering child.


Born was I in Valhalla,

Home of the warriors still.

A sleep has enshrouded us,

Thanks to your treacherous swill.


All your comfort, money, banks, and gold,

To hide from you, the selling of your soul.


The most comfortable slaves who think they're free,

Yet can't survive without paying with money.


Your walk and talk don't match your stride, you run your mouth but walk with pride.

You all act tough, like gangsters and thugs, but balk and complain while cops squash you like bugs.


We The People are the rightful heirs, but we allow them to act like Earth's possession is theirs.

I may hate the powers that be but truth be told I blame you and me.


WE are the power, we are their fear, and we, all together, can take control and steer.


This is a warning to all who seek peace:

Peace is a battlefield; it's not guaranteed.

But if you don't fight for it, you can only expect defeat.


May my words be heard and my warning understood....


I seek justice forevermore.

know my name:


Redundant Jovian Thor.

Wednesday, August 25, 2021

The Next Issue

    Well 69 (lol) "pages" later, and i think a new page is in order.

I think i've established a priori.

Next Issue begins!
















Tuesday, August 24, 2021

DevLovE Gamers

 capital D, L, E, in DevLovE, to rotate all letters in place, but maintain facing, to orbit without rotating, [preferably optical illusion; as though its either counter. or clock.] above gamers:


DevLovE / EvoLveD 

Gamers



To be independent and open source community owned projects.

Tuesday, July 13, 2021

The Story So Far...

Okay, so. This is not mine.
I didn't make it.
It's like my Fanfiction, but worse.

But funnier.

Lots funnier.


To me.

Especially that part where you're all like:
"whoa, the fuck? that's a HUGE image for my tiny screen! screw this!"
[edit: apparently it works a lot differently on phones than desk/lap tops]

yeah...  haha.
Less traffic on my blog.
More fun for me.




The Beginning...