It's been a while since I've done this and I hate the work it takes to manually adjust every single URL but here we are....

The Round Table of Contents

   Welcome to my bass ackwards blog. I don't know what I'm doing except writing, and I know it's a work in progress, nothing but a work in progress... actually several... and th blog is running backwards. you're getting the end first and the beginning last. oh well. im not web savy enough to care- for i have a solution!

A crappy half assed solution, but it should do the trick.

Meanwhile, allow me to explain what you're doing here. that's right, you've unwittingly stumbled across this unknown cyber realm and are lost. mmhmm yup. But not to worry, you're in a good place. It's safe here.aside from the horrid gramatical inconsistency and general lack of give-a-shit.

About spelling that is... so it's safe for everyoe except gramar nazis.*

As i was explainin', you've come upon a trove of pure, raw, unrefined creativity. A genuine Work in Progress cache.

Since each page is it's own story, and as such, its own work in progress, i've decided to maintain this as a main page... it's the first page you'll see when you link to rjthorwip.blogspot.com and it's the newest page i've submitted.

Since that's backwards from what i want, and i dont know howto invert it, i'll just copy this page and paste it every time a new work comes into progress, and add the new work to the list!

Of course, if there's a better way to do this, and i find out, im sure this is already an obsolete solution to a simple problem.

(Update: apparently by phone I cannot easily copy formatting and URL differences so now everything's 🤬'ED!)

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

The Dao Bums (Formerly known as The Tao Bums

My little experience on this awesome community. The web forum, The Dao Bums.

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

Five Virtues

Here, I talk about my personal core values which i believe are critical to humane behavior and social and psychological survival.

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

Toribash: Violence Perfected; A Genuine Martial Art!

This one is kind of special, and ties into Onethruten... or actually, Onethruten is a contribution to Toribash ;)

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

Onethruten: A short Story.

A short story of a hero who does things and meets people, and stuff; and things, and junk, and whatnot.

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

The Legend of Toribash: The Eternal Pursuit

A fiction based on the concepts within Toribash.

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

Redundant Jovian Thor: Artwork Shared

A small handfull of some of my hand-drawn sketches during my brief time in Mendocino county (January-March 2016)

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

An entire set of interrelated projects:

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

IS

The original Origins story as never told before...

Visions from the Priestess of Righteousness is a first and third second person narration sequence involving YOU as the listener.

Which all lead out from The Tree at the World's End... which is back story...

To Apocalypse: Tales of the Phoenix Days ... Which is the precursor...

For a World in Progress

Which includes additional Back Story for several characters, only one of which is in this blog yet:

A Curious History of one Great Skinwalker Warrior

kind of disjointed thoughts going into that whole project... what a mess!

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

WHEW!

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

I tried my hand at writing lyrics, and as with everything i have another Work in Progress!

judge me:

Untitled

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

And.... [currently] the currently hot project [previously, what] I am [was] I'm *still* writing a fanfiction... Which I am kind of embarrassed about, because I usually pride myself in creativity and avoid "mooching" off of other people's creations... in other words: I don't write fanfics.**

However, as I explain in the comment at the bottom of the page, the emotional investment of one of Hyrule's contributors has touched my heart and inspired me to go with an idea that I've had for years and years, since Ocarina of Time first became mine...

I write Hylian Hearts, not because it's mine... But because it's NOT mine... Because it is a gift to every Legend of Zelda contributor and fan.

in a sense, I have to write it... I don't want to not finish this...

So the most up to date and consistently maintained project you will read here for some time to come is going to be 

The Legend of Zelda: Hylian Hearts.

I hope that this project is as fun for you to read as it has been for me to imagine, fantasize, and write about.

Added spoilers; extra special table of contents solar addendum:

The king of Hyrule will eventually be met by the Hero in the course of adventures; deep in the dark world: the sacred realm transformed by Ganon.

But don't get too excited, that's a long, long ways down the line toward the end of Link's adventures...

_______________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

And CURRENTLY, currently, I'm playing NGU Idle (available for free on Steam!) by Somethingggg, or 4G for short...

And I'm- amm- nrr WAS ..... sharing the redundant tooltip jokes hidden throughout his game.

And some story content (if you're into that sort of thing).

The Nuke Link will get filled according to rebirths and contain only *strictly* just the story content.

But until i get there, you wont know what i am talking about (unless you're an NGU vet). (Is this loss?.png) {I lost my apartment because I could finish this stoopid project but I hope you have fun with it}

<Remember: time you enjoy wasting is never wasted time>

The Story So far...

I'll install the Nuke Button later... 

... when it's relevant.

(by my standards)

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

_________________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

Asinine

Bastards

Chasing

Dollars:

Eating

Fucking

Garbage;

Hateful

Inhumane:

Just

Killing;

Loving

Money;

Never

Okay;

Paying

Quo

Rates;

Suckas!

Taxed

Union,

Violent

Waste,

Xenophobic

Youth

Zoo!

I just sang the fucking alphabet to you.

_____________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

Redundant Jovian Thor: Work In Progress is a public domain gift with stipulations enforced only by the honor system. I hope you enjoy this one 😁 

_____________________________________________________________

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

LOONEYFER MORNINGY and BUGS BUNNYSTAR is a protest against opinions. Literally written just to prove a point: that whoever is the author is the authority on what happens and who does what.

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

A long and inappropriate joke hides behind This Link...

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

*I actually did all of that deliberately, and i do edit my work for grammar and spelling. I just want you to feel at home, like you aren't going to get lynched if you spill coffee or visit here drunk.

** I haven't done that since first grade, writing about the Battletoads! ... which i might just do that again come to think of it... But not without an artist. I have candidates in mind. busy candidates who have lives and make more money doing their own thing :P

LOONEYFER MORNINGY and BUGS BUNNYSTAR

 A blast of thunder errenousely precedes the blinding flash (this is because Toon Force has become unfettered and unbridled and unleashed by the hand of God) as you are transported into your own imagination to bear witness of the mighty Bugs Bunny in a boxing arena versus Lucifer Morningstar!

Elmer Fudd referees the fight, explaining the rules.

"Ah, uh, now we, can we have a, we want a clean fight here, fellas. Okay?" To which Daffy hollers out, jeering from the audience, "Boooo! Fowl play!" As he anticipated an old trope.

Lucifer ignored Elmer and called upon the Eldritch powers of creation and reality warping to erase the author of this sorry ass story, not knowing that Redundant Jovian Thor is an Omniversal Singularity and incapable of ceasing to exist; I laugh at him and tell him everything's going to be fine, he just had to fight Bugs Bunny!

I throw him back into the story and continue narrating.

Lucifer is furious and wraps his fingers into the very fabric of your imagination, attempting to escape this poorly written story; to no avail.

"Ehhh..." Bugs chews loudly on his carrot. "What's up, doc? It looks like you're trying to pull an Edward Newgate on the poor audience!" He takes another bite, still chewing loudly.

"Childish!" Morningstar retorts. "I will not be humiliated as so!" And he continues clawing at your imagination (don't worry, I'm protecting it with the most perfect plot armor: reasons) in attempt to escape the fight.

"Foolish mortal! How can you keep me here?!?"

Lucifer calls out at me. I ignore him and continue writing. "The Author isn't going to appeal to your demands, you know..." Bugs offhandedly mentioned, noisily finishing the last of his carrot.

"What do you mean 'the author'?!? Is God writing a new story?" Lucifer responded, less furious, more confused.

"You might as well consider him God if you're in his stories, but he's not THAT God! Come on, let's just get it done and over with."

Lucifer enrages and grows twelve times more massive, growing demonic wings and horns, and breaking through the ceiling of the boxing gym! (So rude!)

Bugs whips out a cigar case and retrieves another carrot.

Lucifer's hooved foot lifts to squash Bugs, Bugs eyeballs him sarcastically.

Morningstar thrusts his hoof down, Bugs yawns and bites the carrot.

The foot falls, Bugs raises his eyebrows suggestively.

The foot slams into the arena, through the ring, through the floor, through the foundations, and Lucifer twists his hoof around to finalize the splatter of the cartoon Wabbit.

The pen lifts off the paper, as Bugs finalizes the animation, and the ink sucks Lucifer Morningstar up into the pen, and bugs gives the pen to me.

I think Lucifer might be protesting or complaining or... IDK? Probably trying to escape?

I don't care.

I got a new pen!