A wildly successful business man is married to a gorgeous trophy wife that he fears will cheat on him and leave him for someone who can be there.
On a business trip to New Orleans, he decides to peruse the adult shops in search for a gift that will keep his wife loyal and faithful.
A variety of vibrating panties, flavored condoms, and battery operated boyfriends later and the man feels like his quest is hopeless. There's nothing special *enough* to keep her satisfied while he's away on business.
He leaves the umpteenth store and, wandering in thought, finds himself in a hole-in-the-wall trinket shop smelling heavily of incense and tobacco. Noticing it's not a sex shop, he turns to leave but encounters the mysterious aged owner holding a box out to him.
"Ah, I do believe you'n be lookin' for this, no?" He says, partly startling the businessman's soul clear out of his body.
Caught up by the sudden unexpected appearance, the businessman didn't question the queerness of the situation but instead asked.
"What's that?"
The Cajun man cackled and opened the box, "This, sir, is the Voodoo Dick and will please your lady so much she'd never think of anyone but you; ah guar-un-tee!"
The businessman wasn't interested and quickly started to excuse himself but was captive audience once the box was open and he saw the elaborate purple, blue, green, and yellow tie-dye looking dildo float out of the box.
The Cajun continued on, ignoring the man. "It is a magical lust toy that is voice commanded, jus' you watch." And the shop owner quietly said "Voodoo Dick, mirror...", and the dildo magically flew behind the cash register and began lightly tapping the mirror with the head side.
The man was awestruck and his mouth gaped. The merchant then said it again, a bit louder then before.
"Voodoo Dick, mirror...!"
And the toy began tapping faster and harder.
The Cajun grinned and explained "the louder you command the voodoo dick, the harder and faster it thrusts- VOODOO DICK, MIRROR!
and the dildo slammed through the mirror and even dented the wall behind it.
and finally the shop keep quietly said "voodoo dick, box." and it gently rested itself in the box.
The old Cajun explained the rules and made the sale and the businessman was now driving back to California. Maybe even in a hurry.
Maybe he was speeding. But curiosity took over and he had to test the voodoo, so he quietly said "Voodoo Dick, dashboard." And he watched the toy float up and tap he dash. Giddy, wanting to test it more, he said, lauder, "Voodoo Dick, steering wheel!"
*HONK*
*HONK*
*HONK*
*HONK*
He panicked.
"Voodoo Dick, stop!"
*HONK*
*HONK*
It didn't work.
Flashing red and blue lights fill his rearview.
"Voodoo Dick, rest!" He shouted, easing the car to the shoulder on route 66.
*HONK*
*HONK*
*HONK*
*HONK*
"Voodoo Dick, box!" He shouted as the memory hit him, and he quickly corrected, repeating it quietly, as the cop approached his window. The dildo rested in the box and the businessman rolled down the window.
"Do you have any idea how erratically you were driving? And why were you honking your horn like that?!"
Without thinking, the businessman blurted out "it was the Voodoo Dick!"
The cop guffawed and suffocated on his laughter for at least a minute before hollering,
"VOODOO DICK, MY ASS!" 🤣
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