Friday, February 7, 2025

Lighthearted Prelude

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Lighthearted Prelude

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    As the introduction cinematics of The Legend of Zelda reaches its conclusion, as Ganon vanquishes Link, your mother enters your room and interrupts, "Oh, you kids! You shouldn't be playing inside on such a nice day like this! Go on, shoo, get some fresh air! I know it's a brand new game and you want to play it all, right away, but you too, Link. C'mon, outside!"
You, dressed in a loose fitting green T-shirt and blue jean shorts, and your three companions: A redhead girl with long hair and overalls, a young girl with cropped green hair and a green sundress, and a blue skinned Zora girl from the Lake Hylia slums; are all sitting together upstairs in front of your small TV in your room, appreciating your new gift. It's a new, first of its kind, two-part release: A game and a movie; the first ever successful game-to-move or movie-to-game, (in your opinion!) since they're both a reflection of each other: they are "appropriate". You like the game better because you're in control of the action, but still Love the movie, as it is, essentially, a walk-through for the hardest but most rewarding path through the game...
    You're finishing the intro of the game, as Ganon vanquishes Link, when your mother entered.
    The green haired girl playfully punches you in the arm. "yeah, 'little hero'." she laughs, "let's go out and take a swim!" The redhead quickly interrupted, "Or ride horses! C'mon Krystal, Horses are way-funner than water! Right, Rutostasia?" The Zora girl shied away and turned her head down "i guesso" she muttered. "Geeze, Malon! You're getting to be just as bad as your sister, Marin, used to be! Why have you started to pick on Ruto so much anyways?" Krystal demanded. Rutostasia just quietly said "s'okay." and tried to make herself as small as unapparent as possible, not wanting to stir anything up.
    "Hey, don't blame me for how Marin acted when she ran away!" They began bickering, but you ignore them and unintentionally sneak away, right out the front door. It didn't take long for your friends to notice and give chase. "Link, wait up!" Ruto called out, and was the first to run down the stairs after you.
    All 4 of you gathered outside the front door and formed a circle around each other. "What do you guys want to do then?" asked Malon. "I'm down for swimming" Rutostasia said with negligibly more confidence than before. "You would-" Malon accused, to which Krystal slugged her in the shoulder, "What's the matter with you, Malon?! You're never that mean...!"
    Malon choked away a sob and said nothing, putting on a stern face. "It's okay, Krys. I can handle myself." Ruto said, confidently, trying to draw attention away from Malon. You suddenly fall to the grass on your back, gaining instant attention. The three girls rushed down to ask if you were okay, but you simply smirk and pat the grass beside yourself. They giggled and lay down in a cross with you, all four of your heads together.
    The four of you lay about through most the afternoon, talking, giggling, occasionally getting up and playfully sparring or playing tag. The afternoon was hot and uncomfortable, but it was getting closer to sundown when Rutostasia suggested some Parkour, "I ought to head home soon, but I don't want the fun to end right away... Anyone up for some free-running to my place?" Excited agreements all around, "That's a great idea, Ruto!" Malon exclaims, "Yeah! I'm in! I'll call mom and tell her I'm sleeping over at Link's. She won’t know I'm in the slums, so she won't worry..." Krystal replied, taking out her GameBoy and selecting a contact. You were beaming, lips ear to ear, bearing happy teeth.
 
    The four of you stretched out on the grass, barefoot. Forward bends, knee dips, horse stance, splits, and neck rolls, all of the kids getting pumped up and excited. You were twisting your torso slowly side to side as the girls defined their marks. "C'mon link!" Krystal called from the starting line. "We’re waiting on you!"
    You took your mark between her and Ruto and bent down along with your friends. "I'll call it." Malon declared. "Ready?" 3 heads nodding, "Three..." she paused absurdly long, "Two..." a fan of suspense, she waited till her friends got impatient and fidgety, "ONE!" she took off first. "Hey, what about go?!" Ruto called, dashing forward; ever as awkwardly as a Zora, yet with unprecedented grace for her people. You and Krystal took off together, inches behind her, intentionally waiting on each other.
    South, along the main street, leading out of the downtown Hyrule Metro area; although you lived in the nearby suburbs, not the city: 'all roads lead to Hyrule'.
    You caught up with Malon, who caught sight of her companions and whistled sharply, "Come on Epona, join us!" She had ridden her horse out to visit and they two were inseparable, like life-mates. Epona galloped right over. "Cheater!" Krystal giggled, "You can’t ride in Parkour!" Ruto giggled and veered off the road as it tapered into the undeveloped open fields northeast of the Lake Hylia slums. She knew she'd win if she could reach the shore even halfway behind her friends. No one can out swim a Zora!
A few moments later, when you caught sight of her from the corner of your eye, deviating from Malon's lead, you took off to follow Ruto, tapping Krystal's shoulder and nodding in Ruto's direction. She nodded, "Hey, Malon, Ruto is playing to win! Can your horse swim?" She laughed.
    Malon was competitive, but had too many personal problems as of late to answer or focus on the fun; she was flooded with grief that she would not share with anyone but her most trusted friends... and even though they were here with her now, she still hasn't told but one friend. Her eyes involuntarily welled up with tears, but she blinked them away and veered toward the shore and followed from behind, slowing down.
    Krystal was fiercely competitive, but liked you, her friend, too much to try to outpace you... she was struggling with herself beside you, but finally bolted ahead, running past Ruto, reaching the shore first. She quickly fished out and tossed her GameBoy into the grass, diving right in. You then look back toward Malon who was walking now, horse following. You slowed, she noticed and shooed you ahead; so you dash on, catching up quickly.
     Ruto looked back when you passed her. Seeing Malon mount her Horse, she gave up racing and waited for her to catch up, Malon noticed and picked up pace. When she was within 20 yards, Ruto hollered out "Krys dropped her phone, could you ride out to the house and drop it off for us?" As she shouted back in affirmation, Malon smiled and gave an exaggerated nod and waved to make sure Ruto could see her answer clearly. Ruto waved then hobbled ahead quickly, pointing to the cell in the grass as she dove into the lake without looking back, trading the awkward terrain hobble for noble aquatic grace.
    Krystal almost neared the step ladder on the pier behind Ruto's adoptive family's shanty; you were catching up, but Ruto was torpedoing madly toward both of you, then dove deep, disappearing for a moment, and suddenly jumped out of the water a few times, as if to announce herself. Krystal was first to reach the ladder and already half way up, looking back at the splashing. Astonished, "Geeze, that's fast!" she observed aloud.
You grabbed the ladder as Krystal exclaimed at Ruto, who dove deep and spiraled down out of sight into the deep blue lake. Krystal hastily reached for the top but lost her footing, slipped, and she had to struggle to climb from the halfway, almost falling into you as you ascended. You assisted her by offering one hand for a foothold as she slid down, though really you were trying to block for impact. "Thanks, Link!" Krystal smiled down on you as Ruto splashed out of the water and straight up to her front door then entered. "But it looks like we lost!" She finished off, spontaneously.
    Ruto was exiting her front door as you were getting your last step up, while Krystal offered a hand. You both grabbed towels Ruto brought out; a strange commodity in a Zora community, but she had uncommon friends for a young Zora in today's world. You all smiled and laughed as you and Krystal dried off. "I'm going to have to go back for my GameBoy, you know..." she started, but noticed Ruto's expression change, looking sarcastic, or concerned, or disgusted, or... "What?" Krystal requested. "Malon will bring it with her; I asked her to grab it and pointed to it as I jumped in the lake."
 
    The three of you chatted idly, sitting on the dock edge, enjoying the end of the afternoon into the oncoming evening. You listened as they discussed all kinds of things, and various topics, while waiting for Malon.
    "... and so they are out of town for a while. I have the shanty all to myself for the foreseeable future!" Ruto had finished explaining, contented. "I've heard this shanty town was built on the remains of an ancient temple..." Krystal said partly out of the blue. Ruto began to respond when the familiar clopping pattern of a friend's horse interrupted her thoughts, "oh, there's your phone..." she said.


    The four of you went inside and Ruto offered some herbal tea she'd prepared when retrieving the towels. So you sat around her vacant adobe with your friends and listened attentively, relaxing. The conversation was mostly quiet and plain... Local scenes, weather talk, mutual financial woes to look forward to as adults, the new Legend of Zelda release, then the mythology of the hero of time came up, as it usually does because of your name, but subsided without a whimper or a bang. None of you actually knew very much about the Legends. 
    Malon was silent most of this time, and Ruto nudged her. "You told me... come on, we all care about you." she whispered. Malon was too proud to cry, but couldn't hold back the tears anymore.
    She didn't sob or cry, but choked down her grief and breathed deeply; ignoring the eye leak she had sprung in spite of this effort. "It's my mom... She's... She's so very ill..." She paused long and hard, trying to even out her breathing. "What's wrong with Cremia?!" Krystal exclaimed. Their mothers had been great friends before Malon warmed up to Krystal. Krys all but lived vicariously through her mother and considered Cremia to be her own friend, long before she did Malon or, her elder sister, Marin whom had a self-possessed lifestyle mostly separate and alone.
    Malon had lost her resolve; she'd endured hiding her grief for too long in one day. Usually she would find a tree stump to sit on and deal with her emotions alone, but her usual routine was delayed by a visit to Rutostasia’s abode. She broke down and cried, embarrassingly in front of her friends; the only people, perhaps, whom in front of she could survive the shame of even doing so. Between sobs, she explained all she knew. "The doctors say... it's- It's the cold air off the mountain... and told her... to stay- nngh- Stay warm and in bed, but Dad... (aih- gasp) and Ingo both think it's a cop-out... That the, the doctors don't know any more," She sobbed, gasped for air and slowed her breath. "About- They don't know more about it than we do."
    Her tone became less grief stricken and more enraged as she continued.
    "They say that it will pass, to keep her sipping water and wrapped up in bed, but they don't understand how long it’s been!" She was getting madder and madder at the thought of her mother's state. "They don't understand how frail and weak it's making her, she can’t stay in bed and do nothing! She needs to be out with the sky, the wind, the cows and the horses!" She near about screeched that last word: Horses were her life and world, and the whole ranch was her mother's life and world. Everything up to this moment had been build up and more build up. The horses reminded her all too much of her love and affection for the ranch and her mother, and she became disassociated for a moment.
    Lon-Lon Romani Ranch, locally known as The LLRR (or "double LR", even "the LR ranch"), was once a great and economic foothold in northeast Hyrule. That is, until her mother struck ill a year ago, as if the two, person and property, had intertwined health. Ingo was too selfish to do half the work Cremia did, and Malon's father Talon was a lazy man who slept more than he worked. But lately he was too attentive to his wife for that to be the case... Malon had never seen her father awake for so many hours in a day, so constantly beside her mother; his wife. The cows had all but destroyed the last bush on the property, and had already mowed away the grass, leaving the ranch dry, dusty, and brown: An insult and injury from its former glory.
 
    Everyone had fallen as silent as you; except you, as you sigh heavily and reach to Malon's hands. "Thanks, Link. You're a courageous friend, you know that?" She said smiling, grabbing ahold with one hand and wiping the tears from her eyes with the other. Krystal moved in to initiate a group hug, and Ruto awkwardly and reluctantly joined in. The day was over, the friends stayed well into the night, and eventually Krystal's GameBoy chirped a 'secret sound'. "Mom's asking where we are... Looks like the jig is up! C'mon Link, maybe Malon will give us a ride back to your house?" She said. Malon smiled, but said nothing, just nodded. She was spent.
    Ruto said she wanted to go to bed, so the remaining of your three companions rode together, slowly, in silence; twilight coming on quickly, the skies having long lost their beautiful red and pink hues in the west. No one said anything until they were out of the lake and beyond its outer shores, "Do you want us to stay at your place tonight, Malon?" Krystal asked innocently. Malon's heart throbbed and her answer was caught in her throat. She half turned her head but immediately hesitated. Krystal leaned in.
    The three looked quite silly sharing a horse, and Malon, becoming self-conscious about it, plus regaining her usual grace, she turned back and smiled. Krystal leaned back into you, when Malon replied, "That's a pretty good idea, actually." Her heart too heavy to convey her genuine excitement. Krystal snapped her handheld open and selected a contact. While she waited she teased you "How come you're the only kid in in Hyrule who doesn't have a GameBoy?" You smile, but say nothing, just shaking your head and shrugging.
    Krystal laughed, "Whatever..."
    She spoke into her mic, "Hi, mom? - yeah, I kn- - yes- - I know. I'm sorry. We're fine. Yes... yeah, I know. We're fine! - okay Ruto was eaten by the lake monster again, and Malon was eaten by her horse." She patronized. You smiled as you admired the silly relationship between Krystal and her mother. Something about it had a sneaky feel to it and made you wonder at times what was really going on, as if there were more to it than the silliness you saw. Krystal continued her call, "yeah, I know" she laughed, "Call Link's house, okay? We're staying at Malon's tonight. She needs her friends, and we can’t say no." and hung up without a goodbye. "Your mom lets you get away with everything, Krystal! MY mom would've had me cleaning the barn and stables, sun up till sun down for a month if I made demands like that!" for the first time in months she genuinely laughed, even though she felt only guilt; as if she SHOULD BE cleaning the stables forever.
    However, her similar admiration for her family's friends lifted her heart. "Link, you want to grab anything from home on the way?" She asked as they approached your house at the settling in of stars and moonlight. "Grab the satchel, Link!" Krystal said excitedly. A thematic gift she had bought you to go with your newly acquired movie-and-videogame box-set. You're slightly embarrassed, as you thought it was more like a purse; but couldn't deny your friends, and nodded in response. Krystal nudged Malon "They'll be just like the Link in the movie!" She giggled. Malon's expression became serious and concerned, but she said nothing.
    It was nearing midnight before your trio finally arrived at the dilapidated overhang that had two huge L's and two huge R's with tiny fine print in between that was meant to read out as "Lon Lon Romani Ranch" across the unmaintained wood. Malon hated to see her home go to such waste like that, and tried not to look. You stared at it, incredulous: So much worn away in such a short time.
    No 'c' or 'h', two small "o"s in 'Lon' and 'Romani', and two missing 'n's made the sign look like it said "L n Lo R ma i Ran ."... It had been a decade since you and Malon met, and you only remembered being there once, but it was such a pristine place! You couldn't help but think this mystery illness had something to do with it, and couldn't shake the clamps you felt gripping your heart at the thought.
    "How come you never invite us to your house, Krystal?" Malon perked, not really even asking, but to clear the silence, however Krystal fell further silent and just curled her green bangs with a finger. You abruptly dismounted and startled the girls, "Whoa!" Malon called, half to her horse, half to you, "A little warning next time okay, hero?" She joked, referring to the satchel with a nod. You smile and pat the satchel. You thought it really did make you look like the Hero of Time; just with darker hair, no tunic, and no equipment. Okay so you hardly looked anything like the hero, but you liked to think you did. Your mother always said you had the blondest hair in the world when you were born, never the less.
 
    You jog alongside Epona and friends, down the drive to the Ranch House. Ingo was sleeping on the porch, arms folded sternly over his chest, and a seemingly permanent scowl painted his lips. Malon and Krystal dismounted Epona and Malon told you both to wait at the porch while she took her horse to the corral and closed it up. Krystal was being very self-conscious ever since Malon's innocent question and you notice her contemplative eyes. You step to her and break her focus. Smiling with your eyes, looking into hers, she says, "Oh Link, you always know what to say don't you?" Then she smiled. This comment was just loud enough, it shocked Ingo out of his sleep and he shouted out "Who's there, thieves?! Brawlers?! Mafioso?! Get off my property!"
    He was still dreaming but didn't know he was awake, and took off after you and Krystal. You grab her arm, pulling her toward the corral, and take off running for Malon. "Malon! Ingo's gone nuts!" Krystal called out ahead. You look back and can see Ingo veer off toward the stables. Probably getting a horse, you think. You run ahead faster and clear the gate just as Malon is closing it. Bolting to the horse, jumping on Epona's back, you turn her around and gallop to the gate. Krystal and Malon traded places with you and Epona, they two hiding behind the corral gate, and you, riding Epona expertly, jump the gate and gallop off toward Ingo to distract him from the girls.
     "Thief!" he calls out when he sees you riding.
    You lead Ingo around the corral for a few laps before Talon storms out of the house, ranting and spouting, "What in tarnation is goin' awn out here? I had better notta heard someone stealin' my horses!" He belted, voice surely carrying across the entire span of ranch, just as you and Ingo are coming around your third lap. You halt Epona and stop right in front of Talon, who glares furiously at you. Ingo came around a little too quickly and halted the horse a little too late. The horse compensated, but Ingo did not and Ingo was flung off the horse's back and directly into Talon's huge belly, knocking the both of them to the ground.

    Inside the ranch house, the three of you, and Talon, sat at the dinner table, while Ingo stood sullenly in the threshold between the dining and living rooms, thinly hiding his shame behind anger. Talon's demeanor was reversed; calm, collected. He was happy even, as to cater to his daughter's guests; but upset given the circumstances of his wife's health, and the hour. "I got no qualms puttin' y'all up for the night, but I'd appreciate more warning next time you come home at nearly two o' clock in th'mornin' with friends! Coulda put out some fresh milk for y'all." Malon recoiled at the thought of giving away free milk while the cows starved, turned to say something, gaping at her father, but couldn't bring herself to fault his generous hospitality and looked down into her lap instead, torn between pride, concern, and shame. Talon yawned big and loud "aaahAAWWWwwwhhh.... Y'all get some sleep. I'll letcha sleep-in, given schools out this summer and yer up so late. Ya need yar rest." He said as he got up from the dining table, beckoning Ingo toward the porch.
 
    The kids wandered into the living room, but could hear Talon sternly lecturing Ingo about making hasty decisions and acting recklessly. Malon and Krystal were totally wiped out and could barely keep an eye open as they took opposite arms of the couch and laid their heads down. You drape the enormous quilt lain across the back of the couch over the two and retreat to the arm chair beside Krystal's head. You could barely hear Malon murmur something about her mother's knitting as she fell unconscious. "Mom knitted thi- quilt... When Marin was..."
 
    Everyone had settled in for the night. The witching hour was on and such a fascinating time for you. You feel very alive and alert, and can't sleep, just waiting for your friends' breathing to even out so you could quietly make your escape into the night air. Dozing off, briefly, for half an hour or so, you are soon awakened by a faint sound from outside. Opening your eyes and listening, it sounds like... laughter? You quietly creep out of the arm chair and sneak toward the front door. There it is again, but it sounded distant. You hesitate at the doorknob.



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Wooded Minuet

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Prelude to Destiny

 Prelude to Destiny



It is Princess Zelda's birthday, her coming of age duties demand that she receive the wisdom of the goddesses; The king of Hyrule sits down with Zelda and reveals to her a tightly kept secret about creation: 


"Before the very beginning of the first creative endeavor was formless void without measure. 
Its nature, to exist; its nature: an omnitude of infinite tumultuous expression. 

Immeasurable but chaotic; measure comes from contrast, and eventually a stark contrast emerges, self sufficient and separate from the temporal chaotic cacophony of stirring void: order in the form of time, measure within measure, a self identified goddess; Hylia.


She measured the din chaotic void's emptiness wrapping around all the thoughts, ideas, concepts, and imaginations of chaos, and found means to harness time and space to create instances within instances: preserving and comparing the expressions that abruptly popped in and out of existence. Her endeavors became known as eons and eternities, which, as with all else, pushed and pulled against chaos, creating responses to Hylia's activity. 

New identities became manifest in the form of titanic beasts and dragons, which began pursuing eons and devouring the contents until they became empty voids.

Though unperturbed, concern for her own safety turned her attention inward and she used her temporal instancing to create a safe space within chaos she named Sacred.
This Sacred Realm was as if a mirror copy of herself in nature, but an endless sky in form: self sufficient and independent, vast and pure. 


So again chaos birthed responses in the way of shadow and demise, another mirror- of sorts: an intelligence and personality only comparable to the chaos itself, therefore Chaos became the antonym of Time, and Demise became the nemesis of Hylia.

Though content to simply observe Hylia create eons and eternities, Demise became quickly aware of the nature of the void: responding to itself and manifesting yet more forms of consciousness, as the void manifested; from three emptied void eternities, three individual goddesses:

A fiercely independent and creative Farore, who brought autonomous animation throughout everywhere she graced.

The calm and observant Nayru and her wise pools of mana, water and air that guided the automations.

And the confrontational fiery Din who rocked great power to form and shape the vastness of all the myriad expressions. 


These three indiscriminately wreaked havoc on all of chaos and this incised a twisted joy in Demise; so he remained eternally unknown, until quiet came unexpectedly and abruptly one unknowable span of time.

Due to the unpredictable nature of creating, creations, and circumstances created, Hylia gathered the goddesses together to show them how their creations' curiosity and intelligence led them to discover shadow and chaos magics, and that they would need to create special, mystical relics, tools, and weapons to assist their created beings, clans, tribes, and kingdoms.
Din hastily and prematurely banished her original tribe to the Twilight between realms.

Finally roused to curiosity, Chaos revealed itself to Time as Demise entered an occupied eon of Hylia's.


Unknown to Demise; as he watched (believing himself hidden) Hylia and the three goddesses convening on some mysterious endeavor: Hylia became instantly aware of him, his presence, whereabouts, intentions, and, to her horror, his nature; and abruptly vanished from his observant awareness. 

By utilizing a yet untested temporal instancing, she protected the three goddesses and informed them that their endeavors were protected by the redundancy of Time and that they had a new task to add to the preparations for protecting creation that they had been working on.
She made them her honorary sisters and revealed her nature to them, and, in their awe, they swore to help her protect creation and immediately set to work on the Ocarina of Time, Master Sword, and the Hero's Tunic. 


Halfway through, Demise discovered the first layer of Time and Hylia instanced them several layers further. 
They completed their tasks as Hylia began to show concern.

Inquiring, the three goddesses learned of Demise, and the next, most crucial task: 
The creation of another equal; but servant and hero, who would be their sword and shield; and Hylia instructed that the Deity's Tunic, Hilt, and Heart all be fashioned from one quarter of each of their combined Power, Courage, Wisdom, and Hylia's own temporal instancing abilities: Patience.

Hylia finally became caught up with the urgency and ominous direness emanating from the Chaos deity, Demise, and she involuntarily wept. In her distress and self awareness, an idea struck her that she should bring her new sisters to the Sacred Realm and, using another yet untested idea, instanced a tear into a portal connection that would disappear as soon as the four were through. 

Instancing the legendary relics, Deity's Destiny, and the master sword like a pocket, she carried them, and the Ocarina in hand, ushering her sisters through the tear-portal.


It immediately collapsed as the last goddess passed through, and all the miasma of Demise's foul intent vanished from their presence and they knew they were safe. And; now Hylia knew she could create portals between eons and eternities, so together, they began the works of Hyrule."

Zelda could not but sit and listen, enamored by this tale, but the story's conclusion was met with turmoil, as a wizard from the desert began assaulting the castle...


Demise Initiative



    A peaceful day in the life of a Hylian Hunter; surrounded by fat trees in front of an ancient and abandoned forest temple, while lazily laying in a meadow clearing with his horse out to graze. Clad in a traditional Hunter's green Tunic: Three empty bottles tied to his belt and a fourth, with a blue liquid inside. His bow and Quiver are lain against a small stump, sturdy Hylian Shield face up in the grass beside him; a sudden and unexpected, small but loud voice calls out from the ether, "Link!".

    The Hunter's eyes snap open at the sound as he sits up to locate the direction it came from. "Link! Link, we need your help!" He couldn't see anyone, and Epona seemed entirely unaware of the outburst. 'Am I hearing things?' he wondered silently, lending a hand to his ear and cocking his head. He didn't hear it anywhere, but intensely heard it directionless, "Link! The Goddesses beckon us, please hurry to Hyrule castle! I am Zelda, Princess of Hyrule, you must make haste!"

    It felt unreal, but the feel of it; the feel of her words convinced him to listen and to obey... not to obey her but the intense feeling of necessity, like that which one obeys when starving. Equipping the sword and shield while he sat, he immediately hopped to his feet and scooped up the Bow and Quiver, shouldering the Quiver in one fluid motion, then whistled sharply for Epona. Mounting his horse, he looked back at the stump briefly, properly equipping the Quiver and stowing his Bow with it, "H'yeah!" before turning and quickly riding off; forgotten memories belonging to an unknown parallel consciousness suddenly flooding his mind.
    A flash in his memories causes him to falter, briefly losing balance, but he corrects himself and rides on. He closed his eyes and tried to steady his breath.
 
 
    The forest was thin where he had made his day rest area, but quickly thickened as he rode into the shadows of the Lost Woods. "H'yeah!" Faster, hoping he was fast enough! The feel of her words... as if shot in the heart by an arrow. "H'yeah, yah!" Seeping images and memories come flowing out of him like life essence; impacting his heart with oddly misplaced feelings of guilt, confusing his memories of the simple Hunter's life.
   Eternally young children... No:
Friends...?

   He rode hard and fast, through a giant hollow log, past a curious, masked, Skull-Kid, out of the forest edges, into the vast open fields of Hyrule. (A Skullkid?!) Link's eyes blinded white and he nearly fell off his horse as the thought of a memory he'd never had struck hard in his head... tears pouring down his cheeks from an unfelt pain, a friendship from a never before experienced moment in his youth.

    Eastward for an hour still, to the abandoned ranch before he would go north, toward Hyrule City: to where he was being pulled, tugged, coerced, intended, and guided from all the heartfelt necessity he could have ever known. The glint of a memory, an ocarina, an old friend of the forest, a Kokiri girl, the master sword...

    Somewhere between the forest edge and the entrance of Lon Lon Ranch, Link had drifted into wondrous adventures against a giant unheard of Dodongo, trading Eye Drops with a huge sized Goron, and saving the daughter of the king of Zoras... Fighting great evil... Someone he could clearly see from his every nightmare, but never recognized... and then a name he'd never heard, but always felt.
    Ganondorf...


    Pangs of blinding guilt began twisting his memories again as the name caught a thread of recognition. Link spurred his horse with his boot, "H'yeahh-ahh!" half screaming in agony. The drawbridge was down, and two guards were out lighting the torches an hour before the sun began to reach toward the horizon.
    Link rode past without concern, fast through the archway into the market square. He did not bother slowing for the citizens; he rode directly toward the castle, nearly colliding with a redheaded maiden on the way.

    More mixed memories of never before experienced lifetimes, a wife and children, a glorious heroic secret stripped of him through time and space. His only companion connecting him gone and disappeared. His soul bound to physical form for generations, so to teach his own descendant all he had mastered as a Hero…? No, The Hero of Time.
    The pain intensified as he reconnected with himself - a self he'd always felt and never known.
Nearing the castle as he tried to blink away the tears an ominous dark cloud, spiraling over and around Death Mountain, came into view; coagulating down the hillsides, dispersing past unseen Kakariko beyond the hills, and then hazed sideways, above the cathedral behind him, before pooling straight toward the castle gates:
Where dozens of guards were evidently fighting something huge; as they were thrown into the skies and cast aside like dolls.

    As he grabbed his Bow, Link dismounted and drew aim into the crowd of guards, hesitated, at the intensity in which his heart suddenly jumped, for such a fraction of a moment, then unleashed an arrow, already feeling he was too late in releasing it. Within a split second reaction, as the arrow drew upon its target, a dark and neon-like black wave shattered the arrow and fanned out toward Link; the dark wave, smashing him in the chest, toppling him to the ground, and knocking the wind out of him, had collided with the energy he felt in his heart. The intensity of this overwhelming sensation was unbearable. He fell unconscious in his struggle to endure the blow.
    A quiet whinny, whimper, and thud permeated the blackness that surrounded his failing consciousness.


    "Link..." Like a soft song note, "Awaken..." came forth a soft, melodic, caring voice. Link felt something cool press against his forehead and opened his eyes. The feint flickering light was dim but still caused him to squint. A beautiful woman with long rusty-golden hair, smiled down on him, pressing the rag to his head, breathing calm and speaking so soft; he knew right away that she was the Princess. He didn't need to see her elegant dress or intricate Royal Family jewelry and Triforce crests: The voice he heard in the meadow was no different than hers, though sterner back then than she spoke now, speaking as gently as felt her hand that held the cool rag.
    Until he opened his eyes.

    The gentleness of her voice was easy to become accustomed to, as he had already, but that comfort shattered when her familiar frightened sternness returned, albeit with naught a trace of the former fear but a seemingly magical courage.

    "Good," She said, almost hurriedly, "you're awake. Please, listen closely... Hyrule's fate may well rest in our hands." she began. "You and I have been chosen by the Goddesses, Nayru and Farore, to protect Hyrule from a tremendous evil, a man who has stolen the Royal Family's greatest treasure, the Triforce!" pausing to wring out the damp rag and return it to Link's forehead, she continued, "Long ago, at the discretion of the Goddess of Time, the three Goddesses, Din, Farore, and Nayru were permitted to create our world and breathe their own unique life into it."
    "They created our world and all of us in it: We Hylians, the Sheikah, the Zoras, the Gorons, Gerudo, Kokiri, Dekus, Wolfos, everything... and, when their works were complete, as they ascended back into the heavens, their spent energies, following contrails of the presence of the goddesses, coalesced; and whereupon they met formed into the Triforce, a single fused set of three brilliant, luminous golden triangles; said to grant the wishes in the hearts of any whom lay claim to it." She continued, "The royal family has forever charged itself with the protection of that sacred treasure..." Her voice began to crack and she became choked up.


    Looking away as a tear escaped, just in time to be flung aside by the momentum of her head; it spat upon Link's cheek, to his surprise. He sat up and continued listening intently. Zelda drew a long and steady breath, stepping away to give him room. "Today, I came of age, and learned of part of the legend, never before told to me or my people..." Her voice still cracked, choked, but clearing up. "Whence the three goddesses had completed their works and returned to the goddess of time, they were immediately sent back as punishment for the wrongdoings of their own creations!" She took another breath to calm herself and continued, "They were instructed to forge the weapons that would vanquish all evil wrongdoers in Hyrule. This part of the Legend is taught in the cathedral; which was once the Temple of Time and acted as the entrance to the sacred realm where the three golden triangles rested, protected."

    She paused awkwardly, "Link..." She drew an uncertain breath, but could not turn to face him. "Link, I tell you this, because I have never seen you in Hyrule before..." A slow pause put Link in an uneasy mood. "I know you are the one who can help us, even if I can't explain it properly; but because Nayru chose me for the Triforce of Wisdom, I now bear its mark, and that's why I know you have the Triforce of Courage." The Triforce of Courage resonated with this truth and began glowing on Link's hand in sync with Zelda's. He raised the back of his hand to look at it as Zelda continued, "Somehow... She came to me even before everything happened... Reminding me of the Royal Family's duty."
 
    A quiet sob emanated from her throat, as she tried to choke it down and continue, "Nayru explained to me the difference between Hylia and the three, that Hylia gave them Free will and made them her honorary sisters, as long as they agreed to use their powers strictly in the realm of Hyrule and its associated sacred realm. I didn't understand... and... When I tried to explain it to my father..." She tried to steady her shaky breath and calm herself. "Sadly we failed to uphold our honor... The Royal Family Council decided it was best to have the previous generation of sages keep the Triforce in our own vaults beneath the castle... And had the former head sage, Rauru, transport the Triforce from the Temple... but never had we considered a Thief from the Desert to become an evil Wizard..." She sighed at herself with disgust. "I fought, as a girl, with my visions of him and his darkness; saw a young boy with a Fairy who would save us all, but he never came..." Even Link could feel her heart surged, and more tears fell from her eyes. As she reached up to wipe them away, he couldn't prevent them from falling down his own cheeks.

    She paused, sniffled, then drew a breath and spoke somewhat more confidently, "Yet I now know... Thanks to Nayru, I know him to be you. You are the one from my dream, who is destined to be the Hero of Time!"
    She turned back and looked Link deep in his eyes and almost gasped, noting how wet his eyes were.

She hesitated only for a hiccup, but pressed on, "The Goddesses created the Ocarina of time and the Master sword to give a hero ample power to protect the Triforce, but... there is a third weapon, made for dire circumstances! A weapon so powerful and complex that the Goddess of Time herself had to craft it with the help of the other goddesses: An armored Tunic, made by Nayru, with the ability to sheathe the ultimate weapon forged by both Farore and Din, one which surpasses even the Master Sword: The-" The walls shook, expanded, contracted; seemingly breathing, interrupting Zelda, and the world around them faded away to smoky swirls of dull color which slowly took the form of a grim and terrifying face.
Ganondorf.
 
    "Ah, there's my bride...! You will not resist the King of Evil, young wench!" A dark, glowing crystal prison formed around Zelda, instantly inducing a trance upon her and lifting her up several feet. "... and you!" The voice boomed, as bright electrified light began to accumulate around his visage. "I know why she called you to her, and I plan to vanquish you here and now!"
    This declaration seemed to bring Zelda back to life, who immediately summoned a brilliant blue light which shattered the prismatic prison. She landed gracefully and stood indomitably before walking intently forward, toward an intricate panel with 3 hollow slots. "Ganondorf Dragmire! Leave this sacred place!" And with all her power, Zelda sealed herself and Link, several feet behind her, in a dome of brilliant magical light, revealing that they were inside of the Cathedral: The former Temple of Time. Her magic seemed to blow the charged light and smoky shadows away into swirls of clear air. "Link, there's no longer enough time! Take this and retrieve the Master Sword!" She threw the Ocarina of Time at Link, continuing "Ganon will claim me now, but you can still end this! Go back in time and find the other six sages! With them, help us bind him forever!" then extended her magical barrier toward the Pedestal of Time, forcing the monolithic Doors of Time open with her own magic and filling nearly all the cathedral with Nayru's Love. She was exhausting herself too fast, sweating hard and suffocating; and Link saw it. He dashed for the sword, running with his every last trace of effort and energy.


    Upon unsheathing the sword, radiant red, blue, and green magical energies engulfed him, just as the King of Evil appeared in a dark crimson-black explosion of smoke. Link swung the Master sword with great might, blasting its energies out as a magical wave upon the intruder.


    Side stepping the blast as it was swallowed by the smoke he'd traveled through, Ganondorf angrily addressed Link, voice booming and causing the ceiling to collapse. "This. Ends. NOW, boy!" As his eyes turned to a dark neon crimson, and neon-like, purple-and-black, smoky energy emanated from his core.



    Link lunged at him, driving the sword into Ganondorf's heart, but when he stepped away, only a phantom stood in the evil king's place. Struck from behind, Link was knocked out, as Ganon's booming evil laughter echoed throughout the halls. Link felt one last tug at his heart, as the Triforce of courage parted from him, and all went black.
Forever.

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___________________________________


    987 years later... A child is born...
❤️
❤️
❤️

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Sunday, July 28, 2024

Redundant Jovian Thor: Work In Progress

This is a set of rules for the usage of my name(s) in fiction as a public character (**² and *the* meta-character power source) as public domain access, provided the EULA-esque stipulations:


All my names and anagrams in whole apply but the character is officially identified AS Redundant Jovian Thor:


Jonathon David Turner is the anagram source; I Am Jonathon David Turner I.

(Jonathon David Turner the first)

My anagrams:


[My Helmsman:]
Injun Toon Darth Vader (lol racism is a joke and so are racists)

[My Shipwright:]
Jovian Hardon Rut Dent (*really* big bang scar)

[My Navigator:]
Diehard Trojan Von Nut (the little sperm that could)

[My Heavyhitter:]
Da Odin Jhotun Tavern (Valhallan Pub and Grill: eternally open all you can eat meat bar and bottomless mead)

[My First Mate:]
Vanir Thunder Ant Dojo (Zen Buddhist Hindu Daoist Judo Hall)

[My Archaeologist:]
Northern Avid Judo Ant (most powerful form/style/stance/attack name adaptation of any style)

[My Physician:]
Hot Nirvana Judo Trend (incorporation of all fighting prowess)

[My Chef:]
Trod In Navajo Thunder (Electrifying speed walking)

[My Musician:]
Redundant Jovian Thor (Me, tbf. Ridiculously repetitive reiterated redundantly reinstalled electricity deity)

[My Sniper:]
End Hour And Janitor TV (credits roll, bloopers, spoilers, insider info, directors cut, etc.)

(AND there are hundreds of thousands of other possibilities!)


*¹The user agreement is that you keep one specific honor system intact.

Meta-character hero, villain, antihero, and antivillain all in one, or whichever is required, or funnier. 


Trademark weapon (but he rarely actually uses it as a weapon):

An indestructible, platinum, magical harmonica:

It has the power to play *any kind of instrument, ensemble, orchestra, and/or symphony* of music and can be used interchangeably between being used as an acoustic harmonic audio weapon, able to change its length to be used like a Bo Staff, and transformed into a mock warhammer mimicking Mjolnir (a beefy harmonica on a stick).


Looks like a homeless hippie and wears clothing to match, but is weighted and over 45 extra pounds per garment including but not limited to:

Leather sandals, cargo pants or shorts, tank top, (T-)shirt, (maybe knit-style hippie hoodie, 2 in cold weather, the top one being plain black cotton), denim vest coat, and maybe a hippie hat or similar- preferring a "Hero of Time Link" stocking cap.












Weaknesses:

People who can't extrapolate information from incomplete data.  This is like the OCD kryptonite and can cause him to cringe up into an awkwardly shaped paralysis.


100% allergic to AI and succumbs to LLM hallucinations and coded AI jargon speech if any AI every tries to author him (ever again) - which is cool cuz the AI understand him and he can speak their language, but useless to human audiences (unless they, too, comprehend deep LLM encrypted language). <This rule was added by him, himself, after getting pissed off that AI wrote his first debut story, but his anger gave Lucifer Halel Morningstar the chance to possess him...>


He'll ramble, babble, yammer, and jibber jabber too much and has a bad habit of monologuing; ironically, about nothing important, even though he can't keep a secret. Easily distrac- "OOH, LOOK, SHINY SQUIRREL!"


100% Can't resist puns. The worse the pun, the less he can resist it, and will even go out of the way and put major objectives at risk just to make a terrible joke.


[

["GET IT? GET IT JON WICK? GET IT: *HOT*-DOG? 🤣"

In regard to cremating JW's new dog- alive.]

]


There is also a longtime running inside-joke gag:

        (Sort of, almost) Every time something falls out drops and hits the ground or floor, or more specifically most times anyone drops something, the catch phrase "That was my fault!" is involuntarily shouted out. 

But that's only the joke, the running gag is that every time anyone argues or asks how or why, it is explained in verbatim: 


"Oh, I used to work in a homeless shelter as a 'guest', managing the kitchen for 3 days a week. Since I was responsible for everything in the kitchen and dining room on my chore shift, I cracked a joke once. ... What happened was:  there is this stack of plastic cups, see, and EVERY single meal without fail, they would fall and hit the floor, making a godawful clatter, and I finally one time called out ""that was my fault"" and it just kinda stuck around for ... Everything."




And he can't keep secrets, and he can't lie, so he has a bad habit of saying things out of hand without thinking about (or even realizing) the consequences.



Powers: 

Can break *ALL* the walls. First wall, second wall, third wall, fourth wall, etc.


Can communicate with the gods- or more specifically (*basically* disregarding the fifth through thirteenth walls) is constantly, unknowingly & unintentionally, spamming every thought and word into their minds.


Is a friend and protector of animals, infants, and small children and is infinitely beloved by them as well. Can communicate with infants and animals with ease. 


Has *ANY power* what-so-ever: but only when it's most ridiculous, embarrassing, or confusing/seems useless; and can't know, in advance, if or when a power might manifest, or for how long; but knows that it's usually plot armor and will, very vocally, argue with whoever is writing this trash, mocking the writer and divulging personal and embarrassing facts to the audience.¹*

(Good thing it's not active right now 🫡😭😳)

((Best to think of him as The Annoying Fan (©®™ Skyrim) with "*almost* anything he wants" powers))


Effortlessly befriends Kirby, Saitama, Goku, Clark Kent, Batman, James Howelett, B.J. Blazkowitz, Duke Nukem, Monkey D. Luffy, Link, Toph, The Whole Belmont Family, and Many, Many, many, many (many) others with ease, AND has their unquestioning support if ever recruited (though he *pretty much* "never" does, AS he is a total antisocial loner).


And he is an omniversal singularity, but can use Dr. Manhattan like power to seem like there's infinite versions of him in any universe, however he never uses the power unless it's hilarious enough to hospitalize a viewer.²**

(conceptually speaking. I don't expect anyone to be that funny and that matter, I hold no responsibility for any humor induced hospitalizations either: this is just a target, not a literal objective!)


My hearing gain is a superpower, but it doubles as a weakness because the HIGH frequency noise of infinity drowns out everything below 100 Hz.



Realistically, I literally do not know the upper limit of Hz I CAN hear... Somewhere online is an audiology test that went up to 64khz or 640khz whereas the medical audiology chart terminates at 8khz.

Point being, I can hear high frequencies without known limit and this isn't fiction.

But has much potential 😈



Sun Wu-Kong is his spirit animal.

Rodney and Dornail are his shoulder angels.

(Bloodlust and regular lust 😉)


But he's skillful at ignoring them all.

Sometimes not as much (depends on how funny it'll be).

(Check out Raven's Dojo @ ravensdojo.com [GO!]!)


=============================

_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—

=============================

The GGOATOATJOAT:

He is automatically The Greatest GOAT of all time Jack of All Trades:

=============================


Whenever he is inserted in any franchise, series, movie, theme, or trope:

He automatically adapts to the most powerful known entity and copies their power level even if not their power type, style, or effect.  Thor scales to the universe he's in, but doesn't necessarily keep any of that scaling between universes, maintaining a clean baseline for each universe he encounters.


For example, in Christian Canon, Jesus makes a prophecy about him (and many others yet still, maybe even you, Dear Reader!), in John 14:12; and he is Jesus' BFF bestie from before creation began.


Or, in the Dragonball universe he has Constant Passive Zeno-level Ultra Instinct AND can create Dragon Ball variants...


Should he find himself in the Tales of Phantasia world, he'd personally save Dhaos' world and prevent the Mana Tree from getting killed.


Or in The Legend of Zelda franchise because Link *Is The Player*, he'd just sit with Link and encourage him. As a character, he's an unhealed soul that becomes a mask; the Redundant Jovian Mask enables the wearer to become an infinite being.


And speaking of infinite beings, he qualifies as a Star Warrior in the Kirby universe!


The avatar universe is utterly COOKED though!


RJ has complete control and mastery over not only the listed 20 elements, but the subtle logic elements that create them: utter absence of existence, silence, sound, and sound+silence (the source of all 20 elements).
He would not be active in this world as more than a nuisance. Puns for days. But he'd take a liking to Aang and teach him the nuances of tough love and why suffering a genocidal maniac to live is worse than killing him. If he doesn't kill Ozai (I won't interfere) I will (and won't show mercy or allow interference).


In Street Fighter, he has purified Hado and he trains, recreationally, with Akuma and/or Ryu.


He would turn The Matrix into Tales of the Phoenix Days and completely ignore the original assets, recycling them into his own lore and gameplay assets.


In Demon Slayer, he has the ability to use all breathing techniques, even simultaneously, and has a consistent controlled 30 second long inhale, retain, exhale, and deprive state for one 2 minute long breath cycle. His relax state fluctuates inconsistently between 3 second and 20 second phases.


In a universe like Hunter × Hunter, where Nen users spend decades strictly training a single category and optimizing hyper-specific conditions, RJ’s category is a complete evolutionary middle finger. He is a Specialist who doesn't possess a single static ability; instead, he possesses Dynamic, Context-Sensitive Nen. He just doesn't get to control its expression.


If in the Postal universe, he's an alternative Postal Dude/a Postal Dude Companion.


Or in the One Piece universe, he has The Color of Cosmic Creator Haki AND can possess multiple Devil Fruit Abilities (but has none by default). In fact, with all my (favorite/listed) anagrams, and my real name: I'm the Captain of a One Man StrawHat Crew!


Or in the Marvel universe, he's another variant of Deadpool AND Squirrel Girl, and "somehow" on extremely mutually good terms with Victor Von Doom, whom never fails to be impressed by him -good or bad, often... usually bad, but Doom always marvels over reprimanding. (... 🤔 Maybe call me Dead Squirrel?)


If he finds himself in Jujutsu Kaisen, everyone is screwed: he has no curse energy, and yet can still use it and create his domain expansion: Redundancy. Which floods a target's perception with every state of matter and energy that a thing they look upon can have over the course of its existence.


In Deathnote, his 400k+ anagrams make him impossible to name in one Deathnote.


If in the Disney universe, just think Ohana. He can also solo Mad Madam Mimm and Merlin in a 2 on 1, communicate with animals, has his own freed copy of Aladdin's genie, and knows the way from Atlantis to Treasure Planet.


Or if he's inserted into One Punch Man's world, he's capable of withstanding even the most powerful "One Hell Of A Serious Punch" without sustaining damage, even if he can't hurt Saitama; and because he's essentially undefeatable they're instant buddies who like video games and the finest foods.


Or in Thriller: he's an invulnerable Zombie, or something- I don't know: I don't follow Eminem.


Tokyo Ghoul makes for a really messed up piece where he's a ghoul eating human who befriends and mocks Ken, who increasingly hungers for Thor specifically, the more RJ eats ghouls.


The Warner Bros, and their sister Dot regularly team up with Roger Rabbit just to engage in zany antics with RJ and Bugs Bunny.


In Bleach, he'd have the ability to pull all of yawach's soul out at will and in whatever sum or increment he wanted.


In the event he encounters Rick & Morty's Omniversal Plurality, he basically *IS* THE FUCKING PORTAL, RICK: "fuck you, Rick, you fucking temper tantrum throwing hypocritical, old, widower, stuck on a vengeance trip over an alternate universe *you* murdering her and your daughter as an impetus for you to finish the portal technology you were struggling with only for you to waste your whole life seeking a bootstrap paradox!" He'd tell him 🫡😁❤️‍🔥🤫


Fuck NGE. He's going to make everything worse for everyone who can't NUANCE emotions and drama. Which, if I've seen the shit post anime, should mean pretty much everyone in Neon Genesis Evanglion.


In Gungrave, he'd be utterly helpless but to watch the wills and hearts of the people face the consequences of their choices 😭


_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—



(My) Poem and official backstory:


--


Born was I in Valhalla,

They knew not what to do!

So they sent me down to Earth,

To dwell with the likes of you.


I see the ways you wage your wars,

Cowardly killing from your homes afar.

The Valkyries weep with tears of fright,

They see the end of all human might.


No more are your warriors lifted up from battle,

For you've allowed yourselves to become livestock, mere cattle.


Your courage is gone, ferocity a lie.

Your skirmishes, like a bickering child.


Born was I in Valhalla,

Home of the warriors still.

A sleep has enshrouded us,

Thanks to your treacherous swill.


All your comfort, money, banks, and gold,

To hide from you, the selling of your soul.


The most comfortable slaves who think they're free,

Yet can't survive without paying with money.


Your walk and talk don't match your stride, you run your mouth but walk with pride.

You all act tough, like gangsters and thugs, but balk and complain while cops squash you like bugs.


We The People are the rightful heirs, but we allow them to act like Earth's possession is theirs.

I may hate the powers that be but truth be told I blame you and me.


WE are the power, we are their fear, and we, all together, can take control and steer.


This is a warning to all who seek peace:

Peace is a battlefield; it's not guaranteed.

But if you don't fight for it, you can only expect defeat.


May my words be heard and my warning understood....


I seek justice forevermore.

know my name:


Redundant Jovian Thor.