Sunday, July 28, 2024

Redundant Jovian Thor: Work In Progress

This is a set of rules for the usage of my name(s) in fiction as a public character (**² and *the* meta-character power source) as public domain access, provided the EULA-esque stipulations:


All my names and anagrams in whole apply but the character is officially identified AS Redundant Jovian Thor:


Jonathon David Turner is the anagram source; I Am Jonathon David Turner I.

(Jonathon David Turner the first)

My anagrams:


Injun Toon Darth Vader (lol racism is a joke and so are racists)

Jovian Hardon Rut Dent (*really* big bang scar)

Diehard Trojan Von Nut (the little sperm that could)

Da Odin Jhotun Tavern (Valhallan Pub and Grill: eternally open all you can eat meat bar and bottomless mead)

Vanir Thunder Ant Dojo (Zen Buddhist Hindu Daoist Judo Hall)

Northern Avid Judo Ant (most powerful form/style/stance/attack name adaptation of any style)

Hot Nirvana Judo Trend (incorporation of all fighting prowess)

Trod In Navajo Thunder (Electrifying speed walking)

Redundant Jovian Thor (Me, tbf. Ridiculously repetitive reiterated redundantly reinstalled electricity deity)

End Hour And Janitor TV (credits roll, bloopers, insider info, directors cut)

(AND there are hundreds of thousands of other possibilities!)


*¹The user agreement is that you keep one specific honor system intact.

Meta-character hero, villain, antihero, and antivillain all in one, or whichever is required, or funnier. 


Weaknesses:

People who can't extrapolate information from incomplete data.  This is like the OCD kryptonite and can cause him to cringe up into an awkwardly shaped paralysis.


He'll ramble, babble, yammer, and jibber jabber too much and has a bad habit of monologuing; ironically, about nothing important, even though he can't keep a secret. Easily distrac- "OOH, LOOK, SHINY SQUIRREL!"


100% Can't resist puns. The worse the pun, the less he can resist it, and will even go out of the way and put major objectives at risk just to make a terrible joke.


[

"GET IT? GET IT JON WICK? GET IT: *HOT*-DOG? 🤣"

In regard to cremating JW's new dog- alive.

]


And can't keep secrets, and can't lie, so has a bad habit of saying things out of hand without thinking about (or even realizing) the consequences.



Powers: 

Can break *ALL* the walls. First wall, second wall, third wall, fourth wall, etc.


Can communicate with the gods- or more specifically (*basically* disregarding the fifth through thirteenth walls) is constantly, unknowingly & unintentionally, spamming every thought and word into their minds.


Is a friend and protector of animals, infants, and small children and is infinitely beloved by them as well. Can communicate with infants and animals with ease. 


Has *ANY power* what-so-ever: but only when it's most ridiculous, embarrassing, or confusing/seems useless; and can't know, in advance, if or when a power might manifest, or for how long; but knows that it's usually plot armor and will, very vocally, argue with whoever is writing this trash, mocking the writer and divulging personal and embarrassing facts to the audience.

(Good thing it's not active right now 🫡😭😳)¹*


Effortlessly befriends Kirby, Saitama, Goku, Clark Kent, Batman, James Howelett, B.J. Blazkowitz, Duke Nukem, Monkey D. Luffy, Link, Toph, The Whole Belmont Family, and Many, Many, many, many (many) others with ease, AND has their unquestioning support if ever recruited (though he *pretty much* "never" does, AS he is a total antisocial loner).


And he is an omniversal singularity, but can use Dr. Manhattan like power to seem like there's infinite versions of him in any universe, however he never uses the power unless it's hilarious enough to hospitalize a viewer.²** (conceptually speaking. I don't expect anyone to be that funny and that matter, I hold no responsibility for any humor induced hospitalizations either: this is just a target, not a literal objective!)



Rodney and Dornail are his shoulder angels.

(Bloodlust and regular lust 😉)


But he's skillful at ignoring them.

Sometimes not as much (depends on how funny it'll be).

(Check out Raven's Dojo @ ravensdojo.com [GO!]!)


_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—


Whenever he is inserted in any franchise, series, movie, theme, or trope:

He automatically adapts to the most powerful known entity and copies their power level even if not their power type, style, or effect. 


For example, in the Dragonball universe he has Constant Passive Zeno-level Ultra Instinct AND can create Dragon Ball variants.


Or in the One Piece universe, he has The Color of Cosmic Creator Haki AND can possess multiple Devil Fruit Abilities (but has none by default).


Or in the Marvel universe, he's another variant of Deadpool AND squirrel girl.


Or in Thriller: he's an invulnerable Zombie, or something- I don't know, I don't follow Eminem.


_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—



(My) Poem and official backstory:


--


Born was I in Valhalla,

They knew not what to do!

So they sent me down to Earth,

To dwell with the likes of you.


I see the ways you wage your wars,

Cowardly killing from your homes afar.

The Valkyries weep with tears of fright,

They see the end of all human might.


No more are your warriors lifted up from battle,

For you've allowed yourselves to become livestock, mere cattle.


Your courage is gone, ferocity a lie.

Your skirmishes, like a bickering child.


Born was I in Valhalla,

Home of the warriors still.

A sleep has enshrouded us,

Thanks to your treacherous swill.


All your comfort, money, banks, and gold,

To hide from you, the selling of your soul.


The most comfortable slaves who think they're free,

Yet can't survive without paying with money.


Your walk and talk don't match your stride, you run your mouth but walk with pride.

You all act tough, like gangsters and thugs, but balk and complain while cops squash you like bugs.


We The People are the rightful heirs, but we allow them to act like Earth's possession is theirs.

I may hate the powers that be but truth be told I blame you and me.


WE are the power, we are their fear, and we, all together, can take control and steer.


This is a warning to all who seek peace:

Peace is a battlefield; it's not guaranteed.

But if you don't fight for it, you can only expect defeat.


May my words be heard and my warning understood....


I seek justice forevermore.

know my name:


Redundant Jovian Thor.